Lately I have been cooing and ahhing over babies. Perhaps its because my biological clock is wasting away, and I am losing my chance at having a baby. That I am losing the feeling of having a baby in my womb.  I am not getting any younger, and at my age having children would be a miracle in itself.

Then I think to myself


I was having an interesting chat with one of the pregnant Filipinos  at work the other day.

I had asked her if she was getting ready to have her baby.

She stared at me. “What do you mean?”

“Have you been doing Kegels?” I asked.

Steve had been checking the schedule nearby, he heard my question  and shook his head. His expression was of disbelief. I just smiled.


I frowned. “Yes Kegels.” I started to explain what they were. “They are exercises that strengthen your pelvis muscles so when you go into labour you wont have a hard time giving birth.”

She stared at me.

I was dumbfounded. How had this woman never heard of Kegels before. She obviously had sex. Went to gyno to be checked out right?

“You lie on the floor. Knees raised. And you clench your muscles as if you are holding your pee. You want to do that for 10 seconds.You want to do that every night.”

She just stared at me. “Why?”

“So when the doctor tells you to push you wont have a hard time. And you wont shit yourself.”

The girl just about had a stroke. “Shit myself?”

I laughed. “I am kidding? Or am I”

We went back to work. Then a moment later. “So have you been doing any kind of core exercise.”

She stared at me. Completely lost at what I was saying.

“Oh my god, you are going to die during your labour!” I exclaimed.

The expression on her face was priceless. “What?” she cried. “Die?”

“You have to strengthen your core! Your abs your back so that when you go into labour you wont be dying in pain! Are you doing yoga? What about a little bit of exercise?”

“No why?”

I face palmed myself. “Ok what about lamaze class. Did you sign up for it yet?”

Again she stared at me blankly.

“What kind of doctor do you have?” I cried. This girl’s naivety was killing me. I couldnt believe she was almost 30 years old didnt know anything about how to have a baby! How to take care of the baby and herself during the pregnancy.

“Isnt your OB/GYN explaining things to you when you visit? How to take care of yourself? What to do?” I cried.

Meanwhile during my tangent, Baby G and Steve were staring at me like I lost my damn mind. “Sure, Rebecca. Instruct the girl on how to be pregnant when you never had a baby before!” Steve muttered.

“Your doctor said nothing about Lamaze class? A birthing class? Where you learn how to give birth and be a parent?” I asked.

The girl stared at me. “Oh yes birth class.” she murmured. “But I am not going.”

I nearly keeled over. “Not going? Why?”

“I dont know.”

We had to deal with orders and then she asked. “How do you know so much about pregnancies?” she touched my belly. “how far along are you?”

Oh burn. “No I know because my friends were pregnant. My sister was pregnant. And I read.”



15 thoughts on “HAVING A BABY.EW

  1. Oh man you’ve really messed with her head. Pelvic floor exercises are birth classes are common in ‘western’ cultures. In other cultures post pregnancy urinary incontinence and sometime faecal incontinence are common and just expected. I mean who wouldn’t want to pee every time you laugh or cough lol


    1. yes well our hospital sucks. the doctors dont give a shit about their patients.and she is five months along. she was lucky she managed to find a doctor here. hopefully she will not give birth here in our town but in the town next over.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. The last thing you’d want would be for her to deliver on a counter as the shakes and sundaes are being served, especially the chocolate shakes if she hasn’t done any exercises!!!


      2. Haha, I remember being at some deliveries when I was a med student and being horrified when a fluted stream of faeces would exude as the Mum pushed down.


      3. Oh the sad thing they don’t really prepare anyone for that. I read about it.
        “Women shit themselves while they give birth? What?!”

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Rebecca, she’s Filipina. Pregnan tFilipino women just go to the doctor, get precriptions, make appointments, take care of themselves, and basically do nothing else, except wait for the baby. lol Don’t worry, she’ll be fine. They don’t do that stuff in the Philippines


  3. I didn’t do any of most of this before my first baby. I was young, though–24. I was also insulin dependent and was told I’d have a Csection and a huge baby. I didn’t. The thing that stressed me out the most? Gaining 20 freaking pounds in one month AFTER my baby stopped breastfeeding. No one seemed surprised….I was in tears!

    Liked by 1 person

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