“He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.”
― P.G. Wodehouse
Someone said to me “did you know a prune is a raisin?”
I snorted “no, a raisin is a grape” I answered “a prune is a plum”
“you are an asshole, did you know that?”
I smirked. “dont be hatin because I am smarter than you”
Someone: You know that movie Ice Age?
Someone: You look like the amir cat.
I tried not to laugh.
me: the what?
Someone: the amir cat. that always chased the nut.
me: you mean the squirrel?
Someone: it doesnt look like a squirrel! It’s face, Rebecca! Its nose and teeth! Why would a squirrel have teeth like that!
Me: cause it’s prehistoric! It’s a squirrel. Named Scrat!
Someone: you look like Scrat! The amir cat.
me: the meercat. Its meer!
someone: no its not. Its not mirror.
Me: me-er. Not Mirror!
Someone: oh I thought you said mirror.
me: oh my god!
Someone: why do you have to be such an asshole!
Me: why do you have to be lacking intelligence!
someone: Rebecca did you know that customer is only 2 years older than me?
someone: and her daughter is the same age as me!
me: what? her daughter is 39? how is that possible!
me: you said her daughter is the same age as you! unless she travelled back in time. gave birth, and then travelled back to the present. I dont see how that is possible.
Someone: no I meant to say the same age as my daughter! stop being an asshole!