ALL THE THINGS SHE SAYS


“He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.”
― P.G. Wodehouse

Someone said to me “did you know a prune is a raisin?”

I snorted “no, a raisin is a grape” I answered “a prune is a plum”

“you are an asshole, did you know that?”

I smirked. “dont be hatin because I am smarter than you”

Conversation#2

Someone: You know that movie Ice Age?

me: yes.

Someone: You look like the amir cat.

Image result for scrat

I tried not to laugh.

me: the what?

Someone: the amir cat. that always chased the nut.

me: you mean the squirrel?

Someone: it doesnt look like a squirrel! It’s face, Rebecca! Its nose and teeth! Why would a squirrel have teeth like that!

Me: cause it’s prehistoric! It’s a squirrel. Named Scrat!

Someone: you look like Scrat! The amir cat.

me: the meercat. Its meer!

someone: no its not. Its not mirror.

Me: me-er. Not Mirror!

Someone: oh I thought you said mirror.

me: oh my god!

Someone: why do you have to be such an asshole!

Me: why do you have to be lacking intelligence!

Conversation #3

someone: Rebecca did you know that customer is only 2 years older than me?

me: so

someone: and her daughter is the same age as me!

me: what? her daughter is 39? how is that possible!

someone: what?

me: you said her daughter is the same age as you! unless she travelled back in time. gave birth, and then travelled back to the present. I dont see how that is possible.

Someone: no I meant to say the same age as my daughter! stop being an asshole!

 

 

♥writing was all I had, all I’ve ever had, the only currency, the only proof that I was alive. Memory.♥ each of us has a story to tell. Leave your thoughts. Leave your comments.

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