I always say I dont care what people of think of me. Not even what people I care about think of me.
Dreams show us what our subconscious cant. What the Universe cant. Dreams use signs and symbols for us to decipher. Or they just show us.
The other night I had a dream, that showed me exactly what people thought of me. Or one person in particular.
In a game show. This is your life.
There werent many contestants, and the host was Derek. Why him I dont know. His co-host was his girlfriend whom I never met.
He saved one person for last.
Chad answered in a bored tone.”Almost 10 years. We weren’t friends.”
Derek smiled. “Really? That’s not what these texts implied!” he directed everyone to look at a PowerPoint Presentation.
Chad glared at Derek. “Fuck off. We weren’t friends. we met. At work.” he snapped.
Derek laughed. “What was your first impression?” he was enjoying his cousin’s defensive anger.
Chad thought about it for an only second. “She was a bitch,” he answered. He hesitated. “she was shy, funny had self-esteem issues and when provoked she could be mean as a snake!”
Derek frowned, “You two got along enough to text naughty stuff but you weren’t friends.” he stroked his chin, “That is not what it sounds like it on page 4”
“Fuck off. You two weren’t bestie either, why the hell are you here?” Chad snapped.
derek smirked “she may have wanted to fuck you but you clearly weren’t the one person she didn’t trust. or don’t you remember how you brushed her off after she told you she was so depressed she tried to kill herself.”
Chad stared stonily at Derek. “doesn’t ring a bell.”
Derek’s expression was cold void of any emotions. “let’s refresh your memory. Bring up the text.” he told his girlfriend.
“Please read her text” Derek asked her.
His girlfriend read the text outloud. Then turned to glare at Chad. “sounds like she wanted to talk to you.” she pointed out icily. “Its nice to know someone can come to you when they have a problem”
Chad was really angry now, “fuck you! You judgmental son of a bitch! I have nothing to feel guilty about! She was a manipulator! She manipulated me with her emotions. Always clinging. And when she didnt get her way, she played a victim. She ran to you and you just loved to play the white knight! You always had her back!”
Derek didnt hold anything back. “she trusted you and you played your games leading her on. Yeah I had her back. Just like she always tried to have yours. She always defended you. Manipulated you? She wanted someone to talk to! How is that being manipulative! She never gave up on being your friend, but how many times could she play the fool?”
I woke up feeling like I was dragged over the proverbial coals!