DOESNT MEAN I WASNT AFRAID


I had follow up with my oncologist via video link. My mother asked if my prognosis is good.

“People with clear cell carcinoma don’t have a very good outlook compared to those with epidermal. ” he answered. “She will be lucky if she does make it past the 5 year mark and she will be lucky if it doesn’t recur”

My mom’s smile faded, tears started to gather in her eyes and I just grinned.

“I’m fine now” I pipped up cheerfully. “Lots of energy. Is that all then?”

The doctor had the expression on his face that I had gotten used to. Disgruntled because I wasn’t taking this seriously or how come I was reacting so optimistically?

It was an expression I grew to dislike.

Not every body sees their illness/ treatment as doom and gloom but light at a very exhausting painful darkness.

10 thoughts on “DOESNT MEAN I WASNT AFRAID

  1. Shame on your doctor. He should be happy to see you joyful for the health you have now. In five years there will be much better treatments if you have a relapse. I was good for six years before my relapse and we don’t know how long the stem cell transplant will hold off another relapse, but I enjoy life while I have it. Good for you for enjoying your life as well.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This doc was a temp. He was filling in for my doctor as she was on mat leave.
      He didn’t look very happy to see me when he first got on video. I think he thought I was going to be doing worse off than I was.
      Ha!
      That was good you were doing so well for 6 years! I hope I will be in good shape for that long!
      Im paranoid now every time I have a sniffle or nausea.
      Do you still have to precautions whenever you’re sick because of your stem cell transplant?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My immune system is still compromised, so I’m always very careful. I always have allergy-like symptoms: sniffles and congestion, which is probably from low immune system and the fact that I’ve always reacted to dust and pollution. Other than that and never really get sick, probably because I very careful; however, if I were to get a fever, I would have to get checked out right away, because my immune system can still go to zero quite easily. I’m sure it’s the same for you, although, your immune system might not have been compromised as much. But you still need to be careful.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. A positive mental attitude is half the battle in combatting disease. You are displaying that. I suggest that you use an additional therapy. Cold pressed castor oil has been known to fight and cure cancer and prevent it from coming back. You rub into your entire body at night. In the morning there is no evidence that you rubbed oil on your body as it completely absorbs through your skin. It is odorless and tasteless. It also works great on muscle or joint aches as well as toothaches. Simply rub it on your gums and you will get significant relief in about 2 minutes. Google all the medicinal qualities of cold pressed castor oil. There was even a study where a woman soaked the inside of a sleeping back with the oil and slept in it every night and after 6 months she was cancer free.

    Liked by 1 person

♥writing was all I had, all I’ve ever had, the only currency, the only proof that I was alive. Memory.♥ each of us has a story to tell. Leave your thoughts. Leave your comments.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.