REFLECTING ON THE POSSIBILITIES


Such a beautiful day. Took a break from editing my blog and Went for a nice half hour walk. There is something peaceful about watching the clouds drift across the sky, feeling the slight breeze across my skin.

I was reflecting how much the direction of my blog has changed. I did not like the selfish toxic younger me and began to delete the toxic posts. (Yikes it will take a long time)

I also Reflected how much my change of thought as well as my body have changed. The thoughts over the years, my body since treatment but all aligned for a better healthier me.

My thoughts are no longer negative toxic obsessive. Sexuality- though sometimes filled with passion they are no longer consumed with the desire to please. Instead With the desire to please me.

Purposely- my thoughts when I was younger were always selfish now I yearn to be selfless and to be happy and bring happiness to others.

I never liked my body. I was a mess!Now since treatment it’s like my body re-entered puberty! I love it!

My hair is growing in nicer than before. Body hair included! Eyebrows are on fleek! I rarely have to pluck them or define them! The leg hair I have to shave now is below the knee! Because above knee is non-existent. If only that was true for the lady garden! My skin is clearer. I look younger. (I have always been complimented on that before my illness) I will still be proud of being a potato but now I’m an unicorn potato!

While I am joyful of the wonderful outcome of my treatment the only sadness I have is not many people are so lucky as me. I pray for their wellbeing every day. So they can be stronger and happier as well!

9 thoughts on “REFLECTING ON THE POSSIBILITIES

  1. Did the hair on your head change color or grow back curly or straight? I had brown, very curly hair before my first bout with cancer in 2010. My hair grew back straight and gray. In 2016, I had several intense treatments spread out over several months getting ready for the stem cell transplant — my hair came back curly, then straight, and now it is curly some days and straight on other days. It’s still gray. Years ago when I raced bicycles, I shaved my legs. It was a pain to shave my legs because I have very long legs. Now I have no hair on my legs, period, like your legs above the knees. However, I don’t race bicycles anymore (les choses sont contre nous). My beard is white, my mustache is slightly less gray, and my “man garden” grew back pretty much the same as it ever was.

    I feel good, but all the chemo has taken its toll on my strength and nerves. I’m having a really hard time building muscle mass, I have a lot of nerve damage, and I have to deal with chemo brain (bouts of forgetfulness). But I can’t complain. Like my doctor tells me, less strength and nerve damage is better than the alternative. True! I’ve had close friends who did not survive their first bout with cancer. I am very fortunate.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. My hair is growing in black but I think it’s beginning to turn brown and maybe grey? It’s too short still to be curly. It looks like a faux Mohawk because the top is longer than the side and back.
      it would have been harder to shave with longer legs lol. Time consuming too.
      Now you don’t have to worry about it. 😉
      I am glad you feeling better after all the treatments you went through. 🤗 just reading what you through is mind boggling, and is amazing.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Is your hair thick enough to mohawk? That might be a cool look. My hair is so fine that it just lays flat if there is no curl. I had really long hair when I lived in Spain. There was enough humidity there that it fell in ringlets. I can’t have long hair here. It’s so dry here that long hair on me goes wild and looks like I’ve been struck by lighting or stuck my finger in a light socket.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Lol I don’t think it will be thick. Before I shaved it off, my hair was thin and fine. It was very annoying to style. It was bit curly because of the perms I had when I was a kid.
        It would be nice to have wavy thick hair

        Liked by 1 person

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