TIRED OF EXPLAINING MYSELF


I had lots of energy today but by mid-afternoon I was physically exhausted.

I made the mistake of going to my parents for dinner.

Had I known they were having company over I would have stayed home.

My mom was glaring at me. I was minding my business. Staying quiet only speaking when spoken to.

Yet she was glaring at me.

“Oh my god how long does it take you to get up?” She complained when I was getting up to go to the table.

“Excuse me” I was bewildered.

“You’re getting too fat you can’t even get up.”

I glared at her. I could get up just fine, but it was out of habit that I got up slowly. Two years of being severely ill. it was a reflex. I was tired of explaining that to her.

I sat myself at the table. I was offered cheese bread by a guest, but my mom snarked “she is on a diet! She can’t eat that!”

Again the whole time my mom was glaring at me.

She then had the gall to call me a few minutes ago “Becky, you need to stop eating! You are so morbidly obese you can’t even walk! You can’t even get up!”

I was just stunned by her attack. I am already having a hard time eating. Finding food that I like. I burst into tears.

“Oh stop your crying!” She snapped.

“I am already having anxiety about eating! Everything I eat is bland. I hardly eat anything!”

“Then stop eating eggs or whatever you have for breakfast!” My mom snapped. “You’re so huge. Start walking!”

“You know nothing about my body, you stupid bitch!” I shouted and I hung up.

She tried to call again but I didn’t answer.

What did I expect? she thought my tumour was fat. Thought it was horrible I was gaining my appetite back during chemo, despite my nurse telling her I needed the food.

I’m so tired of this already. I don’t have to explain myself to anyone. No one listens anyway.

6 thoughts on “TIRED OF EXPLAINING MYSELF

  1. Becky, my friend, I did NOT like this. I was angry. When my doctor wrote in his notes that I was ‘an overweight, short statured, middle aged woman’, it hurt a bit. BUT, he’s a doctor and was writing his thoughts. Thankfully, he didn’t say something like ‘inadequately stacked, fluffy, fun sized, not past shelf life, gal’. Soft shelling things is a tad annoying. However, YOU are nowhere in the same zone as myself. You are doing just fine and your mom is an irritating mosquito when it comes to weight. How is hers?? Although, she’d truly come unglued if you said anything back on that topic! loving you from the PNW, because you are perfect the way you are!

    Liked by 1 person

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