IF I WOULD HAVE KNOWN


It’s a glorious day!

Beautiful sunny warm day! +7C with the winds up 90km!

I was feeling better this weekend. I decided to organize some of my belongings. I was inspired by this tiktoker:

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMLYmRCqQ/

I am absolutely terrified of going back to that dark place in my life where I was overwhelmed by clutter and mess. My mental health had declined that it was a struggle to clean. I refuse to live like that again.

While I was tidying up I realized that Everything I bought was under the delusion it was making my life easier. I was just chasing a dopamine high. I never realized that was a thing! If it was pretty and it made me feel better/ made life easier I needed to buy it! My cancer treatment made my OCD worse. If there was a cleaning product I needed it. I wanted it. I had to have it.

It was very cathartic!

This morning I went to my parents for brunch.

Later I went shopping for a few things it was the first time I went out in awhile.

Such a productive weekend!

♥writing was all I had, all I’ve ever had, the only currency, the only proof that I was alive. Memory.♥ each of us has a story to tell. Leave your thoughts. Leave your comments.

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