IS IT IN MY HEAD?


I Woke up to take another Gravol.

I hope it’s just a bad flu. My body can’t decide if it wants to projectile vomit or diarrhea!

I just realized that it’s days away from the 4th? anniversary of my cancer diagnosis.

I thought it was the 27th I was brought into the ER. Apparently not.

On this day 4 years ago, I was getting blood transfusions. My niece was so scared seeing all that blood. She told me I was a vampire!

I miss her taking care of me! She was a wonderful nurse!💕 she was 12 then! Such a wonderful healing energy coming from her, I always felt better!

Is it the flu? Or blood clots. Or is it all in my head?! Thank goodness for my appointment next week!

Now I’m paranoid.

Well played, universe! Well played indeed!

JUST ONE MORE DAY


I am grateful I did most my housework last night.

I had planned doing all my laundry. My dad had the foresight to suggest he take it and do it at their house. Which was very nice of them.

Back at my apartment I went to the laundry room to wash my uniform. I hesitated. The outer laundry door was open. It’s never open. One needs a key to unlock it before opening the next laundry door.The electrical room door was flung open and kept open by a bag of rock salt.

I entered the laundry room. It appeared as if a tornado hit it. Washing machines haulled out of place.The coin inserts torn out. Even though there are signs clearly stating tokens only, and laundry has been free since Covid. Dryers full of food and clothes. Garbage everywhere.

I was angry. It was clear someone had been squatting there for days and not one tenant on the first floor reported the damage done!

I marched upstairs and reported the damage to the building management. According to the management, there had been another flood. It would take a week for the machines to be fixed.

I managed to clean my house before dinner but I was not feeling well.

Today I was feeling better. Until lunch.

I was on my break. I got up and then my tummy rumbled in warning. My eyes widened in horrific disbelief. I never ran that fast before.

I barely got my pants off when the explosive diarrhea hit. It was my worst nightmare!

I had to use water, sanitizer soap, papertowel. I’m surprised I still have an asshole! I had to clean my trousers with sanitizer and water. Lysol wipes I had in my purse.

I was terrified I smelled.

I managed to find some generic brand anti diarrhea medicine in my bag. Yea for the medicine bag in my every day handbag!!!

One wasn’t enough.

Bro, my ass was clenching hard! Damn, rumble bum!

By the time my shift was over, I was so lethargic it took all I had to clock out!

I went to my parents to have a shower and finish the wash. I had a bite to eat then came home.

I fed my cats, took two gravol and I am about to pass out!

Daisy clawed her way under the tucked in sheets to snuggle with me.

I must be sick!!🤪💕

I SHOULD HAVE HAD A SIGN!


One day I am ripping people’s heads off the next I’m like a kitten. Sweet and cuddly! 🤪😌🫣

Did I say that?

Magnesium is a great mood stabilizer. Of course don’t be taking magnesium citrate or this will happen:

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMYRGk8ps/

Bro, I should have had a sign!

Don’t fuck with the mood or catch these hands!

Milkshakes were popular today but did anyone know how to communicate that they wanted one? Or to just spit their preferred flavour out? They had to make it an ordeal!

Customer: I will have the chocolate triple.

What? I don’t even know what that is!

Me: excuse me?

Customer: the chocolate triple!

Me: the what?

Customer: the chocolate triple!

I’m so clueless until I realized she meant a shake!

Another customer wouldn’t answer a simple yes or no question, he kept insisting on a triple thick shake! “Sir I am asking you if you said vanilla! Please answer yes or no!” I turned off my mic “I don’t want your fucking life story! How hard is it to say yes or no!” I exploded. “Go back to the mountains where you came from! This town is full of inbred fucking idiots!”

Steve slowly turned around and pinned me down with a warning glare “Becky, you sound like your sister! You need to take a chill pill!”

“I need alcohol to deal with the level of stupidity that comes through your store!”

“You’re on Ritalin you can’t have alcohol!” Steve replied.

I giggled “no one needs to know”

My afternoon more smoothly and I was my cheerful self once more.

I was about to leave my shift when a customer pulled up and asked for a happy meal.

“Oh sure. What would you like to drink”

I didn’t even finish my sentence before he started to shout “I said a happy meal”

“Yes I am asking for the drink”

“The cheeseburger…” still shouting angrily at me, in my ear only louder!

My eye twitched “I’m asking what you want to drink!” I shouted back.

“Are you having a bad day?!” He snapped.

“Um no. You were shouting at me when I was asking for your drink” I gentled the tone.

“I’m the customer!” he began “you don’t talk…”

Well the customer decided he wanted to fuck around and find out I wasn’t about that life!

And now we were done! Do not step up to me and pull the “I’m the entitled customer” tone with me!

“Alright” I began voiding his order “you can come in to order please”

“What?”

“Have a nice day!”

“Are you kidding?!” He exploded “I want to talk to the manager!”

“You can. But your order will be taken inside. Have a nice day.”

“This is ridiculous!”

“Have a nice day but I will not serve you!”

The customer proceeded to pull up to the cash window and order. I warned the cashier to stop taking the order. She ignored me.

Fury ignited. I stormed down to the cash booth only to find she wasn’t wearing a headset!

I calmed down when she told me how he shouted at her but she was firm in reminding him that if he wanted his order to be polite. Paraphrasing of course.

Did he talk to a manager?

No.

If a service person is being polite why be ignorant?

TO SPREAD SUNSHINE AND LOVE!


What’s your dream job?

When I was younger I really enjoyed researching different subjects I was often hyper-fixated on places/topics written by authors I read. Eg: quantum physics, amber glass, chaos theory.

You would think I would become a research expert, right?

Wrong!

I became obsessed with zoology and pathology. Another quirk due to my hyper fixation.

I scratched that in my senior year and decided to attend Bible College. Two colleges I applied for but never made it thanks to my lazy approach to education. B+ but never really attended the classes.

I really wanted to become a pastor. To inspire others.

Others laugh because of my personality and temperament.

“You would make a better occult leader than pastor”

Please! I don’t have the charisma, or messiah complex to brainwash followers!

My dream was to inspire, help and serve. While interpreting God’s word So many can be saved.

Oh no that does sound like a cult leader!

SEEKING BLISSFUL CALM


I’m loving the sunshine!

It’s so beautiful outside!

The snow has finally melted on my balcony I opened the doors and breathed in the fresh air!

The cats haven’t been outside in so long they were reluctant to enjoy the sun! They are now outside.

Feeling inspired by the wonderful sunshine I wanted to rid myself of the stagnant energy flowing through out my apartment.

I lit some candles in my Himalayan salt candle holders, turned on the salt lamps and lit some incense.

I played some reiki music.

with my mercurial moods raging out of control, I want some moments of blissful peace!

THATS THE WAY THE COOKIE CRUMBLES


I was so exhausted I couldn’t eat.

The last couple of days I couldn’t accomplish anything I had planned because I was either tired or cleaning up after Willow.

I gave Willow a bath today, finished grooming her. I tried to eat. Of course my meal was crunchy and it took forever to chew. Exhausting. I was still hungry but didn’t want to bother. I finished tidying up and Willow gave me a surprise snuggle! A surprise indeed because she was mad as hell that I bathed her!🤣🤣🤦‍♀️

Daisy curled up with me for a bit, she gave me a lot of love. I felt better. Emotionally of course!

I’m going to go sleep. Hopefully I can get my energy back, and get something accomplished 🤪🤦‍♀️

Sleep well!

WHAT IF MY ANGER WAS A PERSON?


What if my anger was a person?

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMYJRdpnR/

Sounds a bit right?🥰

Especially touching my food! 🤣🤪🫣🥰

Ah I am having a good time today!

I hope I didn’t jinx myself!😂

HOW NORMAL IS NORMAL


Reset Sundays.

I love cleaning. It’s therapeutic. I feel calm. However, why is it whenever I try to organize my chaos, there is more to find!

It was snowing out today. I kept the living room curtains closed because I don’t like to be reminded of the day before I was hospitalized with my blood clots/cancer discovery.

Silly isn’t it how a simple chore like taking out the garbage can bring up so much drama/trauma!

Ain’t nobody got time for that shit! If the sidewalk wasn’t shovelled and the bin was in another parking lot! I’m not Fighting my way through snow!

There went my calm therapy! Adding another stressor!

Instead of watching Korean dramas? I decided to do some online shopping. Drinking iced coffee, spending money I don’t have – on things I don’t need but I want!

I think I may be in one of my manic episodes. i missed a day of my medication. I have been so emotional, up and down but the last couple of nights were rough.

I woke up one morning and I found I had bitten my tongue so hard during the night that it made hard to speak. Did I have a seizure? I would think my cats would wake me up. I had been grinding my teeth so hard, clenching my jaw that it made it impossible to sleep.

I woke up this morning every part of me was normal! How normal is normal?🤣

Now I am soaking in the bath.

Hopefully it will be a better night!

Happy Sunday!

HAPPY FRIDAY THE 13th


Happy Friday the 13th!

I’m glad it wasn’t a full moon! Or it wasn’t foggy out! Horror movie scenes!

Usually I am superstitious about the 13th. Not to the extreme but enough to notice if the 13th reason my day went to hell in a hand basket!

Not today!

I woke up from a wet dream. Damn it was hot! Did I remember to write it down? No! I was too sleepy! But I do remember how awkward the position the woman was in when I was eating her out. She was on a desk. Was I her secretary or was I her boss? I don’t know. All I know, my face was between her thighs. Sucking and licking her clit while finger fucking her.

Her legs were draped over my shoulders. Damn lady was putting on quite a show! Her screaming “yes Becky! Ooh eat me! Fuck my pussy!” attracted so many people that we had audience. Women were begging me to make them cum. Men fucking me senseless!

Fuck me! I never even came! I was too lazy! Damn if my clit wasn’t begging for it! it was four minutes til my alarm went off and I didn’t want to chance on soaking my sheets!

My day went well. Unfortunately I don’t think I am going to make past 9! I’m so tired!

I’m so happy I can sleep in!

DISINTERESTED DRAMA


Kaly called my name. I turned around to find him grinning at me.

Oh no trouble.

“Becky, Jommel likes you” Kaly motioned to guy behind him.

I tried not to let my disinterest show. Jommel gave me a heart sign.

I gave it back. keep it to yourself!

Suddenly the girls gasped “Becky, what about Johnny!”

I grinned “don’t you dare say anything about this to Johnny!”

“Johnny!” Dev gasped “how is he going to react to you flirting with another man! How could you do this to your crush!”

I burst out laughing “Johnny is mine! But don’t say anything to his wife ok? I don’t want to die!”

After work I was going to my parents when I looked up from my phone to find a logging truck in front of us.

Every millennials nightmare! The scene from Final Destination 2 unfolded in my memory! “What are you doing?” I screeched “get in the other lane!”

My dad frowned “why?”

“Why?! That’s a logging truck! Get in the other lane!”

My dad laughed “that’s not a logging truck! That’s a hydro truck! (Electric company) those are hydro poles!”

“Hydro Poles. Logging poles. Same thing! Have you seen Final Destination 2! Get in the other lane!” I cried.

My dad sighed and switched just as the truck tried to turn wide.

I should have kept my eyes on the phone! 🫣🙄🤣