WHY THE CHAINSAW WAS INVENTED


Oh my gulay! I’m going to have nightmares! My poor pelvis clenched in horror watching this! I’m glad I wasn’t a woman in the 1700s!

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMNhfsMkt/?k=1

DREAMY OR NIGHTMARISH


I am beginning to believe that a comfortable sleeping position is like love.

Fleeting. A fantasy. One moment it’s dreamy, everything we ever thought it could be. the next? A nightmare we can’t escape from.

THE BONFIRE BRINGS BACK MEMORIES


The smell of smoke is pungent.

The neighbor’s bonfire brings back memories of campfires and wiener roasts.

As children we are so eager to grow up we don’t savour the moments (if this post is triggering I’m sorry)

Running through the country side, picking and eating wild strawberries. Watching grandma make her buns and jams. Playing in the attic. Sleeping under quilts that smelled like the sun.

Riding through the neighbourhood on our bikes. Coming back caked in mud from head to toe. California kick ball, kick the bucket, dodge ball, and fireflies in the dark.

Do fireflies even exist anymore?

I miss those days.

What do you mean it’s Thursday?!


I had a lovely day!

I thought it was Friday! I was so excited! I woke up in a wonderful mood! I played with my cats. Readied myself for work.

Despite the grey skies it was a beautiful day. Then I saw the supply truck in the parking lot. I thought to myself “are they doing the supply run on Fridays again?”

I walked into the restaurant and it finally dawned on me that it was Thursday! It was the last of school.

Nooo!!! My excitement was crushed!

Despite my dreams being crushed I had a good day. It was extremely busy but I wasn’t stressed out. We didn’t slow down until nearly 3pm! We had a $4000 lunch😬

I had a surprisingly enough energy after work to do some grocery shopping. I was excited!

How lucky I was that my parents would grab my groceries for me (my money) I always felt guilty because they do so much for me already. I always make sure they know how grateful I am!

However the shopping list came with rules (holy cow Batman! It took me forever to figure out what word I wanted!🤦‍♀️😂)

  • no carbs
  • no bread/bagel
  • no sweets
  • No soda except ginger ale

I was excited because I was shopping for all my faves!

We decided to eat at McDonald’s. I put my bags of groceries at the table and went to order. Something small. So my mom wouldn’t have a problem with it. I joined them at the table. I noticed my mom glaring at me.

I smiled. “I aged 80 years” referring to the line. i waited 10 minutes while a customer ahead of me waited 20.

“Yes stop aging then” she snapped.

I frowned “no I meant I waited long in line”

I started to eat. “The girl was talking too damn much and not doing her work that’s why it was taking so long.”

“Stop talking like that!”

I frowned again bewildered by my mom’s anger. “There is nothing wrong with how I am talking” I shot back

“If you don’t like the people you are working with them don’t work there!”

Now I was angry “I said she talked too much and wasn’t working! That wouldn’t happen at my store.”

Momentary silence and I began to enjoy my poutine.

My mom glared at me “who said you could buy bagels”

I stopped chewing, slowly raised my head. My eyes never left hers and I stabbed my fries with my fork. “I did” I answered coldly “I don’t eat them often”

“Neither do I” my mom began “I like my”

I stabbed my fries again. Hard. my head rolling along my shoulders and again I fixed her with a cold stare.

Her voice trailed off and she turned her head away. My dad shook his head leaned in to tell her something in German.

Thankfully I finished my meal at home.

I’m enjoying a relaxing bath. Too bad it wasn’t a jacuzzi!

A CAT MASSEUSE


I woke up to Willow playing in bed. On me. Beside me.

It was nice. Having her pounce on me, like a massage.

It helped my migraines.

I woke up again some time later to get some water. I found four toy mice in my bed! Willow brought all of her new toys to bed so she wouldn’t have to share with Daisy!

IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A LAZY DAY


My headache grew into a migraine by the end of my shift.

I had to do work. Ack. Me? do work? The audacity!

Head office sent their new field inspector around. We haven’t had a new inspector in years. Did I do anything by procedure? I was frustrated because the McCafé person was standing there. We had to keep telling her to make coffee. Or we would have to ask her to go get ice because the smoothie machine was out. “No I don’t want to” she left her position.

I was surprisingly nice despite being cranky and in pain. Having to tell the next McCafé person to stop using the smoothie rinse /drain because it was malfunctioning was annoying. He too just stood there. He would walk away and leave the dirty pitchers for me to rinse. Then I would I fall behind on my orders.

I finally got fed up. My niceness was gone. No more complacence. My inner Steve came out. I did the work myself and when the McCafé person was replaced -he moved to first lane and I move to front counter. I told Mae not to bother doing stock up. Just to stand there. He turned to look at me. “Y’all pissed me off” I barked.

I glanced at the fry person “you have too much fries in the bin. They are about to expire. Get rid of them. And wipe out that salt”

She blinked. “This isn’t my first rodeo”

“Yet here I am pointing it out”

The fry person grumbled and turned back to the fry station.

The runner chuckled.

I marched over to the coffee. “Where are your timers? How am I supposed to know which coffee is expired?”

“We don’t have a marker”

“You don’t have a marker?” I echoed “get one. Ask for one. Be proactive.”

I spent the rest of my shift hand holding the team leader’s hand. Training him how to do front counter. “How were you promoted when you still don’t know how to make coffee?” I asked incredulously.

“But there are no stickers printed out for the coffee so that means black coffee”

“They are right here!” I pointed to the printer. “The coffees were changed to the senior price.”

“So why didn’t you punch in the cream and sugar.”

I stared at him, my head pounding. “Because the stickers are right there! If I punched it in again you would make 4 coffees without asking me if I needed them or not!”

“I don’t understand”

“Never mind” I cried “two coffees! just give them to the customer”

Then no one could comprehend I made 2 pots of coffee. “We ran out of coffee. So you better make more” the runner said to me.

I slowly turned from the till. “We had three coffee orders. We didn’t run out of coffee.”

“Yes we did”

I marched over to coffee station. Picked up the two full pots of coffee. “Look before you say anything and what is with your hands? Are they broken? If you run out of coffee make it”

“That’s your job”

I snorted “no. I’m to help you.My job is to take orders.”

I glanced at Annie “I don’t like to dirty these lazy hands!”

We burst out laughing. “You’re so lazy you don’t even know” we sang.

FEELING DETACHED


Part of me didn’t flinch when I heard the news that my junior high crush passed away last week.

I shouldn’t say crush. It was more of an obsession that took over half my adult life. I almost felt like Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction. My obsessive compulsiveness was out of control. I was manic. I couldn’t understand why. I couldn’t understand why I was fixated on him.

It was at a basketball tournament in grade 8 that I fell for him. I was eating hoagies and drinking pop when my eyes fell on this tall dark haired guy. Wow.

I heard of him of course. My cousin would gossip about the In Crowd at her school. B being one of the popular people.

That year He was all I could talk about. I would follow him around like a lost puppy. There were so many cringe worthy moments. Junior high was so awkward and horrible for me.

High school was different. He was still a jock and popular. I was still a nobody but a nobody messed with because the girls were afraid I would come after their man.🤮

Graduation and he was barely a whisper in my thoughts.

He had a family now. We chatted every once and while. Until I didn’t see him at all.

Hearing he died didn’t invoke any kind of emotion. No overwhelming sense of loss. Nothing.

Is it horrible for me to feel this detached?

DONT MAKE ME COME OUT THERE!


I had a lovely day!

Surprisingly enough, I was being pleasant! I didn’t even have to throw cups!

Although I was falling asleep during orders! Bro, even a customer argued with me about our paper straws.

Our paper straws last a day. She was telling me they disintegrated after 5 minutes.

“I should know I eat here once a week!”

I couldn’t help it! Once a week! That’s what she stepped up to me with?! Aw hell no!

I snorted “I should know! I work and drink here every day! My boss is all about quality! Don’t confuse us with Tim Hortons!”

She gasped. If she had pearls on she would be clutching them!

What made my day?

A class of grade 7’s came in for lunch. Their teacher warned them to behave and use their inside voice.

Moments later, the 7th graders were loud and it was impossible to take orders.

Steve had enough and warned the kids that there were other customers in the restaurant and to keep quiet.

The teacher was beyond livid. I was in awe of this woman! The kids volume rose once more. “If the manager has to come out one more and tell you all to shut up? We are leaving! No food nothing! Now be quiet!”

I was cheering her on from my corner!

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMNYRT4Py/?k=1

What Steve sounded like!

FIRE ALARM WENT OFF


I’m standing outside.

Since 1:30am

Someone set off the third floor fire alarm.

Tried to get the cats out. Almost successful. Failed!

Waiting for the fire department who didn’t get the alarm.

Maybe Daisy was whining earlier because she sensed trouble or she just wanted outside. Lol

Either way I’m tired and grumpy