I’ve seen the way you’re staring at me when you think I’m not watching you. Tell me, what nasty fantasies do you hide in that pretty little head of yours?” Park Joong-Gil purred. His mouth hovered over my ear, his body crowding me against the wall.

I should have been afraid. The darkness emanating off him should have chilled me to the bones. Was he trying to intimidate me?

I fixed my expression into one of boredom. “I don’t think you would like to play with me, Joongi” I drawled. “I don’t think you can handle me” I pushed at his chest. It was impossible to move him. I pushed harder then slid under his reach to step past him.

“My name is Park Joong -Gil” he corrected. He seized my arm, hauling me around until I was pressed against him. “And I assure you whatever games you like to play, you will find I don’t tolerate cock teasing, unlike those boys you like to toy with”

My eyebrow rose. Well, this was unexpected. Was he angry or was he jealous? He was cold efficient. How much would it take for him to burn into ash? The thought did delicious things to my insides.

“Boy toys?” I pondered, “is that what they are called? This conversation is boring me” it was a lie. There was nothing boring about Park Joong Gil. He was lethal, he killed without remorse. his body lean and muscled from countless battles. Indeed the Grim Reaper was beautifully sinful in death, but would he be sinfully orgasmic in bed?

I wanted to ignore the way my body was reacting to him. How the heat of his body seemed at odds with the chilling aura resonating off him. Warming my skin, creating chaos between my thighs. I was becoming wet by being near him. This wouldn’t do. Not at all!

“Your mouth says you’re bored but your body says otherwise” Park Joong Gil crooned.

Without warning, Park Joong Gil slid a hand in my hair, wrapping his fingers in the strands. I let out a startled cry. Holding me still, he lowered his head til his mouth hovered over mine. “You are used to calling the shots,” his lips brushed once against mine. “Taking what you want, with no regard to your partner or any emotional attachments.”

As he spoke, Park Joong Gil’s mouth traveled along my jaw. Nuzzling my throat. My pulse quickened. “I’m going to enjoy teaching you to submit to me.”

The idea of Park Joong- Gil touching me, dominating no scratch that! taking possession of me was an exhilarating thought!

My nipples ached to be touched, my clit begged for attention as his fingers followed where his lips tasted.

The hand in my hair anchoring me in place.

I struggled to keep my thoughts from scattering, to keep myself in control as he played havoc on my senses. His mouth found my nipple through my shirt.

I let out a gasp as he nipped it. The pleasure/pain was intoxicating.

My free hand crept into his hair. I felt him smile in male satisfaction against my breast. I yanked hard, hauling his face up to mine. The confusion, anger in his eyes coincided with lust. “It’s cute you think you can take me on” I whispered.

A feral grin flashed across Park Joong Gil’s face.

Energy cascaded around us like a waterfall. Darkness swallowing us both until I found myself no longer in Park Joong Gil’s arms but in a bed.

A huge bed.

An amber glow casted eerie shadows over the walls allowing me little sight beyond the bed.

Where was he? Did he just teleport me to his bed?

Satin and silk slithering up my arms and legs startled me. I jerked to free myself but it was impossible.

I was tied to either side of the bed.

Soft laughter came from the darkness. “I thought you might like the unpredictability” Park Joong Gil emerged from the shadows, shedding the last of his clothes.

My eyes widened, then raked over his body in appreciation. “Oh I assumed this is where I was going to be. How I was,” I glanced up at my restraints, “ending up? It’s sadly disappointing” I sighed in boredom, “really? Joongi! This is amateur hour”

Anger flashed in Park Joong -Gil’s eyes. “Amateur?” he echoed in disbelief. “how many times have you been tied up?”

I smirked, “Don’t ask if you dont want the number,”

“But they weren’t me.” he smiled impishly. “and you haven’t tasted what I can give you!”

~The Dark Side of me has awakened!


Well that was hot!🥵

I’m glad i was in the bath!


“You are my little sister’s best friend!”

“I don’t have best friends, so if you think you are breaking some moral code? Forget about it. You have nothing to worry about!”

“You’re killing me!”

My cat woke me from a delicious dream! Oh the inhumanity!

The feel of his skin against mine. The heat of his body. The smell of him. Irish spring! He just had a shower! His hair damp dark curly at his neck. His eyes were so pale, like icy slivers of blue. A contrast to the brown tones of his skin. The man was just beautiful! I wish there was a way I could describe how he appeared in my dream!

Could I enjoy the feel of him on me? No!


I want to be the reason someone smiles today… Or the reason someone drinks. Shots! Shots! Shots!

I would be the drink that nobody ever drinks again! -Candy apples 🤢🤮

Need to snuggle? I am as cuddly as Snuggles the Bear from the Fabric softener brand. Even softer 🥰🥰

I want to inspire you and empower you. Live life in grand style or simple. Just as long as we are happy and living life that is full of love and happiness.

-Random thoughts about happiness

Feels like something is poking me in my butt

“She has a whole lot of things men and women could appreciate! She’s a sophisticated lady!”

“Holding you like this has my body tingling from top to bottom!”

It’s a good thing I had earbuds in😜😈


If I had a dating profile?

This song would be the before

This would be the after.

Scary! Even eHarmony wouldn’t be able to help!

This weekend made me so feel happy I was single.

Honestly, unless someone was caring, compassionate and committed, I don’t think a partner would be able to deal with a Cancer prognosis, the treatment and then the effects afterwards.

In my naïveté, I believed that the physical side effects would last months to a year. Emotional outbursts I could handle, but having my body turn against me at the inopportune time? No!

This morning was so rough, I wondered why I even got up.

It began normal, a cool shower. I felt something tickle the back of my throat. I choked. I have horrible gag reflex. I ended up vomiting all over the shower stall. Then to my horror, rumble bum.

It took me half hour to scrub myself clean, the tub. I was almost late for my ride to work.

Moments before I was to begin work, I was in “dire straits” Almost late.

The whole shift my chemo brain was in high gear. I had to keep apologizing for my brain fog. Apologizing if I was little edgy.

Meanwhile I was having severe anxiety about my hygiene. my OCD was flared. I kept rubbing hand soap all over all my uniform. Washing my hands.

Being unclean is not option. being around someone who smells, triggers my OCD. I am in a constant state of hyper vigilance. So myself being unclean? I was going nuts!!!

The whole time I had that horrible thought in the back of my mind. What if my lover had to see all that? Better yet, what kind of person would I be if I to were have a loved one go through an illness?

It was a sobering thought. Suddenly my bad morning (?) seemed insignificant.


I am not a perfect person. I am not striving to be.

I am striving to be patient.

To be loving and accepting.

I am striving to be forgiving.

I am striving to be aware of others. Their struggles, their hardships their happiness so they know they are no longer alone.

I am striving to be happy to laugh more

Most of all I am striving to be steadfast in this chaotic world.

An anchor if needed.


“How to stop time: kiss. How to travel in time: read. How to escape time: music. How to feel time: write. How to release time: breathe.” ― Matt Haig


Oh no! My heart! I am going to start crying!

This is the sweetest thing a person can do!

I am so happy I don’t have my lady parts so I don’t have to suffer from pain anymore.

However, when I did have them? it would have been lovely if someone cared enough to do this for me!


Believe in your heart that you’re meant to live a life full of passion, purpose, magic and miracles.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart