MY CAT LADY YEARS

I can’t believe my cat lady years are well on its way!

I have two cats.

I’m single. Old. Now I just need a nice comfy chair to sit with both cats🥰🥰

Someone commented the other day on why I wasn’t married.

Annie replied “she doesn’t like men” then went onto say “she doesn’t like women either”

I burst out laughing “so true. I’m sexually ambiguous. But I don’t want the drama”

“why you don’t have children?”

I glared at them. “I have 2. I have two children”

“But cats aren’t children!”

What did you say to me?

That conversation ended quickly.

I don’t understand why people find it hard to accept that others don’t want children. In my case, I didn’t want children and now I can’t.

I’m not emotionally equipped to deal with a child. So I chose cats instead.

Anyway, my niece turned 16 last week.

She was afraid I would forget. I didn’t. That’s because I can’t believe she was turning 16!

Then she told me she got a job and a boyfriend.

My jaw hit the floor. I was never so proud of my niece in that moment. Becoming motivated to get a job! Then I realized she said boyfriend!

What?!

Oh my word, what is happening?!

Oh well why was I surprised? She had numerous girlfriends. And started to date a boy before she moved.

But he has a car.

Nope. My auntie heart can’t take it. Can’t cope with the idea my baby niece is growing up so much!

THEN WHAT HAPPENED?

One of the new hires was working in drive thru.

She was commenting how she just moved into town from LaCrete. My head whipped around so fast I almost gave myself whiplash!

“You’re Mennonite?” I asked.

She shook her head “my parents are I’m not.”

“Really, me too!” I began to grin “your parents didn’t send you to Prespatou?”

“No they sent me to my grandparents!” She huffed.

Another one of my teammates- Haley exclaimed “no! Not your grandparents!”

“Are you Mennonite?” The new girl asked.

Haley scoffed “no, my parents are!”

“What did you do to get sent to your grandparents?” I asked.

The girl rolled her eyes. “My mom caught me watching Vampire Diaries!”

“No!” I was scandalized. “Not Vampire diaries!”

I couldn’t help it I was laughing. “How are you still living!”

“That’s not the worst part! She saw the Maleficent poster in my room! The horns!”

Haley and I were enjoying ourselves reminiscing about how our backgrounds were similar to the new girl’s.

“So they sent you to the grandparents”

“They look through my phones and laptop. My grandpa had a meltdown when he saw what was on my phone!” She went on.

“My mom had a stroke when I said Damn” I said.

“My mom wouldn’t let me wear tank tops or leggings. Only frilly dresses” Haley shook her head.

“My parents wanted me to marry a guy from LaCrete!” I shuddered.

“Oh wow. Sorry about that. I have a second laptop that I carry around” the new girl sighed.

It was nice talking to another Mennonite girl. Many of my friends have either married or went back home to the colony.

I think every Mennonite child was threatened with “if you don’t behave you will go to your grandparents!”

No tv. No music. Early rising. Just working on the farm.

I didn’t mind. I loved baking and reading. Playing in the fields.

Mennonites are different levels of conservative. Some don’t mind the modernization creeping into their colony some are so against it they ostracized those who don’t follow their way.

I often observe how different LaCrete and Prespatou are. If one was to make the comparison…LaCrete consider themselves high society and Prespatou the dregs.

LaCrete is a pretty successful town compared to Prespatou. Men don’t want to marry women from Prespatou and women from Prespatou consider marrying into a LaCrete family? They hit the big time!- just my observation from friends of friends.

MEMORIES OR A MESSAGE

For weeks the smell of coffee would awaken a long buried memory. A memory I just couldn’t seem to remember. No matter what I did, or much I tried I just couldn’t make it clearer.

All the details were fuzzy. I just didn’t know what or who I was to remember!

Coffee. Summer.

Then a few minutes ago while watching an obscure clip from General Hospital something happened. I don’t know how to explain it.

It was my grandmother!

I burst into tears. I started crying. She had been trying to communicate with me.

All this time.

I hope it’s not a long reach. 💕💕

I still don’t know what I am to remember but hopefully I am right.

ME COOK?! Don’t be ridiculous!

My niece is on a nice steady recovery. She remarked yesterday how she missed making me lunch and snuggling with me when I was sick.

I almost cried. I told her with heart felt sincerity, that those days were the best days of my life! That waking up to find her in the kitchen cooking and singing was the best medicine!

We would watch mukbangs while we ate and watch YouTube in bed while we snuggled!

“You don’t know how much I appreciated that you helped me” I tried not to cry telling her that.

Kai was getting her appetite back so she made us some Kraft dinner.

We really had a lovely afternoon.

“How come you never cook dinner?” My dad asked when he called to see how Kai made out giving Fritz a bath. (Fritz the cat was chilling)

“Me? Cook dinner?” I was incredulous. “Never! Why? when I have Mel and Kai!”

Mel is a wonderful cook! 🥰🥰 so I don’t know what happened to me that I don’t know how to cook 😂😂 or is it because I am lazy.

Today I am making my favourite lunch. Brussel sprouts in butter. Mini bell peppers and Maybe noodles.

That’s whenever I decide to get out of the bath!

NOT MY DOOR!

Me: she’s an easy lover

Mel: she’s an easy lay

Mom: oh no I think I am going to be sick.

I was looking over some calcite today after work. Orange, red, yellow, green and honey. “Maybe we should get some honey calcite for your mother” I remarked to K. “It will enhance her intellect”

We burst out laughing. Mel glared at us. “What do you mean? Are you saying I am stupid?” She asked.

We left the Crystal shop, and while sitting in the air conditioned car Mel was reading some messages on her phone. “Oh I have to are-chive these” she mused.

I frowned. What was she talking about? “Are-chive?”

She rolled her eyes at me. “Yeah are-chive!”

It took me a moment to realize she meant “archive”

“No, it’s are-chive”

Then k piped up from the backseat “it’s archive, mom!”

I burst out laughing.

We went to my parents house for dinner. We relaxed afterwards in the living room. singing and making some TikTok videos, while my parents tried not to lose their patience.

“K are you working on your times tables?” My mom asked. “Mel are you helping her”

I broke into Ann Lee’s song “two times”

My sister joined in.

“There! We helped!”

My dad, who had been napping on the sofa, began to smile. Which made my mom angrier.

“I think we better go” my sister suggested.

“Two times” I sung.

While I was trying to put on my shoes, my sister opened the door. Squishing me against the wall.

She was wondering why the door wouldn’t open further so she kept pressing against it, pushing the door into me, into the wall.

“Melissa!” I cried.

She stopped. Took a step forward and peeked around the door “come on!” She was confused.

I could barely stand, I was laughing so hard.

She then closed the screen door on me, which I almost fell right through because I tripped. I was plastered against the mesh,when my mom stormed into the foyer.

“Becky! Will you be quiet your dad is sleeping!” Then she saw me. Saw the door. I thought she would have a stroke. “Becky! My door!”

I tried to speak. Tried to move. But I was helpless.

“Mom. I can’t move, help”

My mom started berating me in German as she tried to untangle me from the mesh. “Will you be quiet! The neighbors!” She cried.

“I can’t open the door!”

My mom opened the door “no, don’t step on the threshold you will break it!” She cried. But I stepped over the partition. I hurried to the car, where K and Mel were laughing hysterically at me.

“Auntie, did you if you go around town with your titties hanging out you’re insulting the town” my niece blurted out.

Well, that took the cake. I lost it. I was laughing hysterically.

Oh what a day!

INSANE IN THE MEMBRANE

My afternoon went well, I must say. After the morning’s debacle.

I finally chilled out.

I think I may be a scary person because of my mercurial moods. One moment I am calm the next I am raging psycho. Perhaps the Joker is the best way to describe me. Insane in the membrane!

My sister invited me over for dinner. Spring rolls and dry ribs. We were supposed to see the Conjuring 3 but the early show sold so I told her to go to the late show without me.

I thanked her for the dinner, and for making the rest of my day better.

“I AM PULLED OVER!”

After Easter dinner my sister was driving me home.

We were by the police station. A police marked car was pulling out on the street and there was a cross walk. A pedestrian was waiting to cross.

“Mel there is a person waiting to cross” I pointed out.

“Um so” she replied nonchalantly.

“So you really going to keep going when there is a cop right there?” I snapped.

“Uh ok”

“There is a cop..”

Mel kept driving and the cop turned on his lights.

“Are you kidding me?” Mel snapped. She pulled over. “Why is he pulling me over?”

I stared at her in disbelief. “Because you drove by a crosswalk when a pedestrian was waiting to cross!”

“How come you didn’t tell me?” She was telling me to get her insurance “I didn’t see him!”

“She did tell you” my niece shouted.

The cop knocked on the window. Asked to see her driver’s license. “Is this your car” he asked.

“No” Mel replied.

Oh my god, I wanted to slap her. The car was under my dad’s insurance, is what she should have said.

“Becky put that away” she shoved all her necessary information at me.

The cop let her go with a warning.

“Oh my god, Mel you are the dumbest person I have ever met!” I exclaimed.

“He was so cute!” She gushed. “He let me go because he thought I was hot!”

I gagged.

Just wow!

WHY ARE YOU ALIENATING ME?

Mel: Why are you alienating me?

Me: what?! That’s not what it means!

Mel: fine! Annoying! Why are you annoying me! But alienating is another word for annoying.

Me: nope.

DO YOU KNOW WHERE LONDON IS

“Did you know going to London costs less than going to Arizona?”

Me: “make sure it’s London Ontario not London England”

Mel: um London is outside the states?”

Me: Um no. London is in England. Or Ontario.

Mel: I am telling you London is in the States!”

• my sister on Geography

ITS A WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS

Merry Christmas!

I hope all is well. May all of you have many blessings, love and happiness!

I know many people are struggling, or can’t be with their families because of world events. they are in my prayers even if we are strangers.

Myself? I just feel good.

For the first time in years I was able to get into the Christmas spirit!

I sang Christmas Songs with my coworkers yesterday, but couldn’t remember the words 😂

I wrapped gifts to Christmas songs. I never ever do.

We are under lockdown protocols and because my sister’s neighbor reports anyone who doesn’t live in the building (even if it core four)

I invited my sister and niece over for dinner.

My mom was still mourning the death of Freddie and seeing Daisy would upset her. She and my dad wanted a quiet night alone before the chaos of Christmas Day.

I never have people over for dinner! I always go over to my sister’s. We exchanged each other’s gifts.

Christmas Day was really pleasant! We usually would spend the night at my parents. My mom would make a big breakfast. Then spend all day making supper.

This year I pleaded for something different! I didn’t want chicken, ham or Turkey! 🤢🤮

I wanted pasta!

My request blew my parents mind! Pasta?! For Christmas dinner?! Are you crazy!

Mel wanted steak.

Absolutely not!

Dad wanted duck.

No!

I went to my parents early at 2.

My mom was actually calm. Not frazzled from trying to cook a huge meal.

“We’re having duck and spaghetti!” She announced.

My jaw dropped in disbelief. Then I smiled. I was so excited!

We exchanged gifts, played games. Ate. It was such a quiet drama free Christmas that I was home by 6.

Quiet and drama free!

That never happens!