When I go out for food I want to be  able to choose whatever I want regardless of the price. I want to enjoy it. Try new things. I don’t want to feel guilty  because no one else can afford it.

It makes me angry when people bicker over prices and then tell me not to get it because I want it. It’s not affordable

for whom? Did I ask for my meal to be paid for? No.

i work for my money I want to enjoy the little things.

I will pay for everything!

Just Shut up and enjoy the meal! Stop ruining my night!

-end of rant



When I was younger I was such a naive romantic! I believed that my true love would understand me at the telepathic level. They would know what I would like, what I read, what would make me happy Just KNOW!

Now I’m older I’m so blasé about love. I don’t want drama. I don’t want to have to feel the need to be jealous. We put trust love communication And effort into the relationship and we made it clear to others that we are unavailable to others.

In other words love is so-so right now!



Angelina Jolie’s speech moves me to tears every time I watch it. She is so awe inspiring.

I wonder in a different time if I was living a different life if I would be as generous. I certainly hope I would. I certainly don’t want to be as selfish or self-absorbed as I am now.

and I must be. For what kind of a person yearns to be like Job, Ruth or Naomi for example yet fails every time.


They were out celebrating his grandson’s latest football game. Crowded around the table wearing jerseys with their family name.

His eyes were drawn to her the moment she walked into view. His ex wife. His heart kicked hard in his chest. In that moment all the years that he had spent resenting her rewound to the day he had fallen in love with her.

It left him reeling. He still loved her. He tried to fill the emptiness inside him with other women, drinking, sex and now he knew he realized what was missing. Who he was missing. Her.

As if she felt his eyes on her, her head turned their gaze meeting. Her chin lifted defiantly, and she scowled.

His lips kicked up in amusement. Nope, She still hadn’t changed.

Her dark hair was disheveled, lipstick smeared. Mascara running down her cheeks. She was a mess. her jersey was too big on her and he realized it was his.

She approached their children’s table, her head high her shoulders back. Lord, that woman was something else. Disappeared out of their lives for years and walked back in as if nothing happened, he thought ruefully.

“Is it too late if I join you?” Her voice trembled despite her bravado.

Their son stood, wearing matching jersey “this is a family event, mother” he told her coolly.

“I see,” she whispered. Her eyes went from her eldest son, to her daughter to her her youngest sons. They had families of their own now and she missed every special event from her children growing up, to each of their weddings, the births of her grandchildren.

”I’m sorry I bothered you” she choked out. She took a step back and turned.

”that’s it?” She froze at her ex husband’s voice. “Go on then. Do what you always do. Run. Run when things get hard”

she pivotted on her heel to glare at him. “I’m not running away! They don’t want me here!”

He stood up from his chair and walked away from the table. A glimmer of panic slithered through her as he stalked her. “You left us, remember?” His voice was low. “I spent every day and night picking up our children’s heart and life because you couldn’t get your shit together!”

”I tried “ She croaked.

“You tried!” He seized her shoulders, “and what about me? I lost my wife! I was alone! You promised me forever!”

Before she could speak his mouth came down on hers. The kiss was gentle and soft. His head lifted “you left me. But I never left you. I have and will always love you!”

-part of a dream I remembered. I thought I had written it down but when I woke up I realized I hadn’t It was quite remarkable because all I can remember this woman left her family and as punishment  traveled through time (forward and back). generations of her family reminding her how good she had it!


“I worry that my affection will scare you away and I can not lose you.” she whispered.

“You’re wrong not to trust me. I love you. I will give you all I have. My heart. You will never have to doubt what I say or feel. You will never lose me.”

He traced her mouth with his thumb and slowly lowered his head. His eyes never leaving hers. “You will be my always and forever” he promised, his breath whispering over her trembling lips before his mouth touched hers.




I’m at the lake enjoying +20C weather! It’s sunny and gorgeous!

Im loving it!

”you need to work on a tan! You’re white as a ghost!”

How about no!


The lake is still frozen.




The sunset. From my bedroom window.

it was a wonderful day today. With the wind in my hair, sun on my face enjoying every moment with a smile. Counting every blessing💕💕




I had 3 hours of sleep!

I dont know what happened! It felt like I drank an ocean of caffiene! I was wide awake, and I couldnt sleep. So when I finally did start to drift off I was woken 15 minutes before my alarm was supposed to go off.

surprisingly I had remarkable energy for the day! How was that possible! I was recovering from McHappy Day, surviving on 3 hour sleep and I was in drive thru all day!

The girls were trying to teach me how to dance. “No Becky! Its like this!” Heidi cried.

“No you know I cant do that!” I wailed. “I have two left feet!”

Steve turns around sees me flailing around, he groaned. “oh my god what are you doing?”

“they are trying to teach me how to dance!” I replied defiantly.

Steve rolled his eyes.

Believing I was now safe from Steve’s shenanigans I turned back to Heidi.

“No Heidi its like this!” I insisted, bumping my ass in the air.

Image result for butt grind gifs

Suddenly I was shoved aside, bewildered I turned around. There was Steve beside me. “No Heidi its like this!” he exclaimed.  He proceeded to flop his arms and legs like a chicken!

I was so stunned, I burst out laughing. “Good lord”

I had a fantastic day but I’m tired and sleepy.





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So accurate I actually thought this meme was about me!