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It was a beautiful long weekend.

I didnt do anything because I had to work and babysit.

I was also too exhausted from the work day to do much of anything. I just caught up on my tv shows, and watched a youtube channel about living in China. (laowhy86)

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However, my sister took me out for lunch and we drove to the lake.



Believe it or not, that is the campground! It was flooded from the rain.

That was not cool.

We went for a nice Sunday drive. We butchered my playlist of 80’s, 90’s songs.

Milli Vanilli, Aerosmith, Ugly Kid Joe and Phil Collins.

Nothing like a good song to make your day so much better!



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Have you ever considered what would it be like to date you?  I did think about it once. It was kind of scary. I think I would be too much too handle. Just too weird. I just want my lover to be happy. Loved. Truth be told, it took me a long time to realize what a horrible person I was. I was a negative mean person. Jealous and had very low self-esteem. Now I try to be someone can laugh with, confide in. I try to be independent, I try not to be indecisive (my pet peeve) I try to keep my assertiveness low key. I dont care what others think, I dont need their validation.

If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?  I would like to know my purpose. Am I supposed to make others happy, inspire others? That is how I would like my future to be. I would also like to know the truth about myself. Knowing the future I think would be dangerous, because then I would do anything to accomplish that.



We were lying together, snuggled under the blankets.  your heartbeat under my ear, your arms tight around me. I could stay like this forever. The heat of your body, the scent of you makes my senses hum with awareness.

I shift in your arms to find you watching me. You smile lazily, your fingers trailing down my body. “you snore like a bear.”

I chuckle. “I think you are mistaken. That was you”

You laugh and kiss me. “Nope” you whisper. “You snore.”

You kiss me again, you roll ontop of me. Your lazy kisses turn hot hungry. Your mouth makes me dizzy, and I whimper against your lips. Slowly your lips brush against my jaw, down my throat. Leaving little kisses along my collar bone and further down

You hover above my breasts, your breath whispering over my hard nipples. My breasts ache to be touch, I arch into you but you push me back down.

“No my little sex monster,” you breath “You have to be patient”

I shiver. “please. not this time. I don’t want to be teased.” I beg.

You lift your head to study me. Your expression is thoughtful. “I see,” you muse. “Is my little sex monster being a willful spoiled brat this morning?”

I bite my lip. I can’t tell if you are playing or if you are being stern. I don’t care. I lift my chin defiantly. “I told you I don’t want to play your games anymore. I want you.”

something in your eyes changes. Darker. “I didn’t realize we were playing game.” your voice is silky. You are poised above me, your body tense with unfathomable emotion.

I frown. “You say you know me. You know what I like” my eyes never waver from yours, “but I am asking you now, do you what I want? what I desire?”

-writing this before bed. trying to find inspiration. failing miserably.

You deserve more

A relationship should not be based solely on texts. There isn’t intimacy or emotional connection.

truth be told, if a person can’t put in any effort to be with their love then they don’t deserve them. A person deserves more than a late night “I miss you ”

but what do I know? I’m single 😭


  • laugh at everything.
  • smile when you are grumpy
  • dont take everything so seriously
  • if you cant say anything bad on the speaker, give the video screen the finger. It will make you feel better
  • throw a cup if you are angry but at the wall not at someone.
  • walk away if someone pisses you off.
  • dance
  • sing
  • remind others “you are the danger” if they dont hear you the first time
  • be as melodramatic as William Shatner
  • Resting Bitch Face is not for you its for me
  • I am being polite, bitch go fuck yourself!
  • have fun!


What are these emotions?

I feel so warm. Mushy!


Could this be romantic love?

Is my heart beating once more!


The heart is still stone.

What if out of all the people you have encountered over your lifetime, there was the one person you were supposed to spend the rest of your life with. You kept missing each other. You said hello to each other perhaps in passing. You smiled at each other, or you bumped into each other but you never noticed each other.

Then one day you looked up and there was your love.

“I’ve been here for you. I was just waiting for you see to me”

gah, now my heart is fluttering at the thought!

Sweet mother of pink, I must be ill! Thinking all these romantic thoughts!

Would I know what to do with a romantic interest?

-my thoughts while waiting for my Goblin to arrive. Where the fuck is my Goblin! (my romantic interest)