HOW NORMAL IS NORMAL


Reset Sundays.

I love cleaning. It’s therapeutic. I feel calm. However, why is it whenever I try to organize my chaos, there is more to find!

It was snowing out today. I kept the living room curtains closed because I don’t like to be reminded of the day before I was hospitalized with my blood clots/cancer discovery.

Silly isn’t it how a simple chore like taking out the garbage can bring up so much drama/trauma!

Ain’t nobody got time for that shit! If the sidewalk wasn’t shovelled and the bin was in another parking lot! I’m not Fighting my way through snow!

There went my calm therapy! Adding another stressor!

Instead of watching Korean dramas? I decided to do some online shopping. Drinking iced coffee, spending money I don’t have – on things I don’t need but I want!

I think I may be in one of my manic episodes. i missed a day of my medication. I have been so emotional, up and down but the last couple of nights were rough.

I woke up one morning and I found I had bitten my tongue so hard during the night that it made hard to speak. Did I have a seizure? I would think my cats would wake me up. I had been grinding my teeth so hard, clenching my jaw that it made it impossible to sleep.

I woke up this morning every part of me was normal! How normal is normal?🤣

Now I am soaking in the bath.

Hopefully it will be a better night!

Happy Sunday!

HAPPY FRIDAY THE 13th


Happy Friday the 13th!

I’m glad it wasn’t a full moon! Or it wasn’t foggy out! Horror movie scenes!

Usually I am superstitious about the 13th. Not to the extreme but enough to notice if the 13th reason my day went to hell in a hand basket!

Not today!

I woke up from a wet dream. Damn it was hot! Did I remember to write it down? No! I was too sleepy! But I do remember how awkward the position the woman was in when I was eating her out. She was on a desk. Was I her secretary or was I her boss? I don’t know. All I know, my face was between her thighs. Sucking and licking her clit while finger fucking her.

Her legs were draped over my shoulders. Damn lady was putting on quite a show! Her screaming “yes Becky! Ooh eat me! Fuck my pussy!” attracted so many people that we had audience. Women were begging me to make them cum. Men fucking me senseless!

Fuck me! I never even came! I was too lazy! Damn if my clit wasn’t begging for it! it was four minutes til my alarm went off and I didn’t want to chance on soaking my sheets!

My day went well. Unfortunately I don’t think I am going to make past 9! I’m so tired!

I’m so happy I can sleep in!

DISINTERESTED DRAMA


Kaly called my name. I turned around to find him grinning at me.

Oh no trouble.

“Becky, Jommel likes you” Kaly motioned to guy behind him.

I tried not to let my disinterest show. Jommel gave me a heart sign.

I gave it back. keep it to yourself!

Suddenly the girls gasped “Becky, what about Johnny!”

I grinned “don’t you dare say anything about this to Johnny!”

“Johnny!” Dev gasped “how is he going to react to you flirting with another man! How could you do this to your crush!”

I burst out laughing “Johnny is mine! But don’t say anything to his wife ok? I don’t want to die!”

After work I was going to my parents when I looked up from my phone to find a logging truck in front of us.

Every millennials nightmare! The scene from Final Destination 2 unfolded in my memory! “What are you doing?” I screeched “get in the other lane!”

My dad frowned “why?”

“Why?! That’s a logging truck! Get in the other lane!”

My dad laughed “that’s not a logging truck! That’s a hydro truck! (Electric company) those are hydro poles!”

“Hydro Poles. Logging poles. Same thing! Have you seen Final Destination 2! Get in the other lane!” I cried.

My dad sighed and switched just as the truck tried to turn wide.

I should have kept my eyes on the phone! 🫣🙄🤣

WHOA! WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT TALKING TO ME!


Could be me!

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMFoCNYp5/

When I tell a customer I don’t want their points! Or if I ask the driver to give me the order and the passenger beaks me off!

IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE PSTD


I had a rough couple of days.

Is it possible to have PSTD from illness? What I mean is:

I have panic attacks being in the clinic. (Not ER) The very idea of standing in line fills me with dread. My heart starts to race, I become overwhelmed. for the memory of being in excruciating pain, trying to stand in a crowd of people-comes to mind.

I feel so ridiculous about having these kinds of emotions when my treatment is over!

I had been sick yesterday, and went to the clinic to see if I could have an appointment. There was one person in line. One person! Instantly, my emotions swelled up within me. I had to maintain a level of control because my mother was with me. The frustration of not being able to run and cry was choking me.

Of course when the person was called forward, she looked around. “Did someone say something?”

I almost lost it! Are you kidding me! “Yes! She said she could see you!” I barked motioning her forward.

I didn’t care if I was rude. I wanted to get out of that clinic! When it was my turn? Of course there were no appointments. No doctors. Nothing.

I hurried out of the clinic and once in the car? I burst into tears. I was crying hysterically. My mom tried to comfort me.

“I will go back to the clinic and make an appointment for you on Friday” my mom assured after I finished crying.

Once I was home, I took some medicine some gravol and informed work I would be in.

I did ok today. I wasn’t suffering fools and made it quite clear that I wasn’t in the mood for shenanigans.

It didn’t last long!

My no – nonsense attitude wavered until I was full of shenanigans! I became my goofy self again.

Am I feeling better! Not really.

Thank goodness it’s Friday tomorrow!

A SCRIBBLED MESS!


I was falling asleep on orders. It was slow. When a story idea started to brew. Did I have a pen or paper? No!

I was frantic! For the first time in forever I was able to be inspired and there was no paper!

My eyes fell on a sharpie and then a coffee filter. I began to write fast.

When I was done? I was so happy until I looked at what I wrote!

It was a Scribbled mess! I couldn’t even decipher what I wrote! 🙄😡

Fudge my life!

ENJOY YOUR SATURDAY!


I unboxed my Shein and Amazon haul this morning!

I think I may have an addiction to online shopping!

Why not enjoy my time doing something I like, right?

After last night’s take out fiasco I decided to order in and something different!

Last night I went to restaurant I go to “regularly” it’s one of the few I dine in because I am picky. 🤣

I ordered a Deluxe Roast Beef dip sandwich with a Mac and Cheese side.

It’s garbage food when the Au Jus is consommé soup and ketchup has to be added for flavour! Mac cheese? Velveeta! So scandalized!

“How was your food”

My expression was sour. “It’s so bad It’s like I made it myself!”

The waitress laughed. “But you ate half!”

“And? What was I supposed to eat? The salt shaker? The bread was good”

She laughed harder. “Oh Becky.” She leaned in “its new owners”

I sighed “oh.” I pushed my plate aside “well I guess I will go home and have a pizza pop”

“Do you want me to get you something else?”

“No.” I paid and left.

So now I’m excited to try the Indian food order. Not much. Onion Dosa with Coconut chutney. Mild sauce. And for something safe? A veggie panini.

I am going to spend the rest of the afternoon catching up on my shows!

A FEW FRIES SHORT OF HAPPY MEAL


I had a rough sleep last night. I couldn’t find a comfortable position, and I was in discomfort. I ended up going to work at my scheduled shift instead of earlier.

I was so smart today I made Simple Jack look like Stephen Hawking!**

It was so embarrassing!

  • “What would you like with your ranch drink?” Damn ranch sauce!
  • “What kind of sauce would you like with your ranch meal?”
  • “Please give the code to the cashier the code will take care of it for you!”

I was making a pitcher of gravy and thought I had the whisk in my hand? No! I was stirring it with the coffee spoon!

I was facepalming myself so many times I’m surprised I didn’t flatten my face!

I was enjoying myself immensely.

Someone had to go to the bathroom. First lane piped up “Derp, your bestie has to go to the bathroom!”

Derp frowned “my bestie?”

I was laughing so hard. “They are coworkers! They are best friends they are two of a kind! Give them a high five!” I sang.

Derp gave me a look. Sometime later Derp discovered that the roll of stickers had been tampered with. He had a meltdown.

Kieran rolled her eyes “Derp! Don’t tell me how perfect you are!” She snapped “get over yourself!”

Dev had been trying to set me up with another coworker. “Becky needs a ride home”

I chuckled “it’s cuffin season. I need a reason for a big boy” I sang.

He smiled “I will give you a ride home, Becky

“A ride to the SPCA!’” A manager teased.

Everyone laughed “a date night is in the dog park and dinner is at zoo food!”

I was almost done work when a woman demanded to know “is that all there is on your menu? Just a Big Mac and Quarter pounder?”

I was speechless! Then annoyed. There are pictures x words!

“Um no. There are pictures of all that is on menu”

“Well all I see..”

“What would you like ma’am!” I wasn’t going to play her game of stupidity. “The number 1,2,3,4,5”

She huffed. “Well don’t you have something with bacon? Something for men?”

My mouth opened then closed again. I just couldn’t find the words!

**(Please see the film about Stephen Hawking! The Theory of Everything! It’s amazing! I cried! Tropical Thunder is one of my favourite films. But Lawd have mercy, was Simple Jack awful!)**

ITS EXHAUSTING BEING POLITE


Oh my word! What a start to my morning!

I was up at 6:30am because Willow shat all over her bedding then proceeded to go underneath my bed, shat there, waddle her way to the kitchen. Shat on the floor and made it to the litter box and shat. I spent 45 minutes cleaning!

I came to work in a good mood until the second customer I served came at me with attitude! I swear if I don’t use my Big Boy voice? Men use no manners!

“I have a code” he said.

“Oh sure just give it to the cash person, May I have your order please” I asked.

“It says I’m to give you code” he snapped.

I don’t give a fuck!

“I asked for your order please” I interjected.

“Look I don’t need your attitude!” He shouted “we all have places we rather be.. blah blah..” i zoned out because I was seeing red.

“First of all, I was polite.” I replied. “I asked you to give the code to the cashier. That’s all! Now May I please have your order”

He finished ordering. Drove to second booth where he proceeded to speak to a manager.

“No,” I said “he doesn’t. He really doesn’t want to. I already took care of it “

He insisted.

Then got banned from the restaurant when he did talked to the manager! 😂😂😂

The manager was nice until the customer opened his mouth and then Steve asked him to leave.

“What do you expect when the first thing you do is give me attitude.” Steve asked him. “I assured you there would be accountability. Do you think my order taker would like this attitude first thing in the morning when she was being polite!”

The morning went well until another customer proceeded to bitch me out because he couldn’t see the menu. He ordered a bagel. “Ok was that all”

“You didn’t ask me what kind of bagel I wanted!” He shouted.

“I don’t ask because you can tell me, right?!” I shot back.

“Yeah but”

“But nothing. Tell me or you can go have a nice day!” I snapped.

It’s too exhausting being polite!

MEOW! The human voice


Meow human voice

I had tried to publish a story but somehow someone got a hold of it. Published it as their own.

I was on my way to court, with the pages of scribble, date and time stamped drafts to prove that the story was mine. Sabotage! Either I was tripped, blocked, missed the bus but I couldn’t get to the court house!

Then the strange uneasiness of being watched happened again.

“Meow” in human voice!

Oh no! Please don’t be Toshio from the Grudge!