You choose

You want to die with him. But do you know whether or not if he wants to die with you?

Since you want to see him…


Let’s go see him. However I need to clear things up with you.

If you were to do anything to debase your status I will kill everyone in your palace. These people. Your nanny. Your maid that you grew up with.

If you think all their lives can’t compare with Yan Xun’s life you can just mess around as you like. I will show no mercy!

-The Royal Concubine’s ultimatum to Chun’r.

Princess Agents episode 23

mama Shu isn’t putting up with this bullshit anymore!



Relationships are never perfect because no one is perfect.  Sharing emotions and intimacy can leave a person exposed, vulnerable. Yet being loved by someone allows a person to feel safe and powerful at once. It gives them strength.

Everybody has some level expected to be met,  they feel let down when they aren’t.  Which is why they feel the need to sabotage the relationship over the littlest things.

Ladies first:

  • If a man has integrity and honor, he will uphold his promises. He will not make promises he cant keep. He will respect you. He will deflect other women’s flirting. He will make it known you are his woman and not to disrespect his relationship. (but am I daydreaming?)
  • If he treats his mama right, he will treat you right. But don’t get the shit twisted! He is to put you first. He is to defend you. He will ask that his family treat you right, just as he will ask you to do the same.
  • If your man comes home from work and wants to chill out by playing video games? who cares. He wants to de-stress. Join him. Kick his ass in a game. Or if you don’t know how to play, let him teach you. You can make it a little sexy. If you die you have to put on a striptease or something. Don’t bitch at him because he wants to chill out.
  • If your man wants to hang out with his friends? Why are you complaining? You can have a spa night with your friends or by yourself. You can hang out with your friends. Or you can put on your sexiest lingerie so when he comes home you can remind him the next time he won’t have to decide. he will have you or his boys
  • If your man is checking out another woman, don’t have a freakout. He is with you. Admire her too. Don’t be angry at the other woman, she has no control what your man does. She is minding her own business.
  • Appreciate your man. Ask how your man is doing. Don’t let the first words be when he comes home “How was work.” Notice the smallest things. light candles so you both can chill when you both come home from work. offer a massage.
  • Don’t play games. if he asks you what is wrong, and you say nothing. He walks away. Don’t get pissed off. He asked you what was wrong! Say what was wrong.
  • Texting is not a form of communication. Put the cell phone away! You are together. Enjoy yourself.
  • if he asked you if you want something to eat, say you are hungry! Don’t wait til he is eating and ask if you can have some. (Oh my god that is my pet peeve. I don’t share my food anymore!!!)
  • if a man starts out sweet and kind but neglects you don’t stick around. You are too good. You already have one asshole why do you need another?
  • If a man becomes abusive, leave! even emotional? Get out! NOW! you don’t need him. He doesn’t love you. It’s about power and control. He will manipulate you thinking you need him. He is sorry and he won’t do it again. All lies, LEAVE! GET OUT!


  • Your woman has eyes for you. She is focused on you. She gets freaky and jealous. When another woman starts coming up to you and flirts, run! “I have a girlfriend. Nice to meet you. Got to go. My wife will kill you. Bye bye!” dont stand there and let her hang all over you. Why do you have a death wish!
  • Your woman wants to be appreciated for even the smallest things. Notice the smallest things. Remember the oddest conversations she has had with you. Ask about her cat when she was 12!
  • Your mama raised you, but now you are with your woman. Your mama was first in your life, but now she is second. If your mama is dissing your woman you need to say that is not allowed. (special circumstances? if your woman is a psycho-bitch) your mama cant disrespect your woman in your house. And your woman cant disrespect your family in their homes. Oh shit no!
  • if your woman is telling you to stop hanging out with a female friend. Do it. She knows that woman wants you. Don’t shrug her off. (oh that is so me-cringing) unless you have a death wish!
  • If your woman asks you to pick up after yourself to the point of nagging? She is not your mama! She is your lover! You want a maid, hire one! You are a grown ass man, clean up after yourself! A woman should ask only once for help, and a man shouldn’t be nagged to help.  you’re living together. clean together. less stress.
  • if your woman stays home looking after your babies, and you come home asking her what she did all day? oh boy! Do not do that!
  • Communication: if she asks you how you are feeling, don’t shrug her off. She wants to talk. So talk. Even if you want to bury your head in the sand.
  • Texting is not a form of communication. Put the cell phone away! You are together. Enjoy yourself.
  • if your woman worked a 12 hour day why not give her a foot massage, run her a bath? make her favorite dinner?
  • take her dancing, her to a movie, have a picnic enjoy each other
  • remember the anniversaries and birthdays!
  • compliment her often even though she has bed hair tell her “i love you”
  • If she has drama. She is too controlling. Throwing ultimatums. You don’t need it. Show her the door.
  • “if you love me you will” that’s emotional manipulation. Even emotion abuse. Don’t put up with any kind of abuse. It is sad that emotional and physical abuse is a double standard, but it is. Women can be just hateful and spiteful in a relationship.

one of the things that you do learn is that falling in love and being in love with someone is a rarity. That you don’t fall in love as many times as you think you’re going to. And then when you do, it’s really special; it’s really important.

-a post inspired by a dream I had. Unfortunately, I don’t think it came out right 🙂



I love Hayley.

She has just a wonderful voice. Her videos are dreamy.

While I was watching this video the one thought that struck me was how her music was so relatable. Especially to young teenagers who are conflicted about who they are, who they thought are they supposed to be.

Having to hide who you are especially to people who love you are is wrong. They should accept you and support you.

Wedding Haka

A maori traditional wedding

I burst into tears when I watched this! It’s so emotional!

the one thought that came to mind while I watched, was how much this family loved her and was accepting her new husband. 💕



Tonight you’re stressed I will wrap my arms around you and kiss you. I would snuggle on your lap, nestling against your chest.

“Come on, I’m trying to focus here” you protest as I nibbled on your ear, kissing my way down your throat.

I slowly undo your tie, unbutton the of your shirt.

“I’m helping you relax” I purred.

You groan as I grind slowly on you. “You work too hard, you need a distraction” I kiss you, draw your lower lip between my teeth and nip.

“Fuck!” You hiss your hand wraps around my hair and pull me back. Breathing hard you stare into my eyes, scowling at my mischievous grin. I play with your belt buckle. Letting my fingers brush over the hard thick length of your cock. I love how you throb and jump at my touch.

“Distraction?” you wonder out loud, “this isn’t a distraction, you are trying to seduce me!”

I burst out laughing. “I cant seduce you! That gene is missing!”

You grin and lean back in your chair. “Well whatever you call it, you can do it anytime you want.”

I smile happily “oh good!”

I stroke your cock through your trousers as you unbuckle your belt. You unzip your fly with deft fingers.

Wiggling out of your lap I kneel at your feet. My heart pounds. I can feel the heat pooling between my thighs. I am so wet. I wonder how patient I could be before I demanded you be inside me.

Your cock in hand, you stroke it slow “Do you want my cock, My Little Sex Monster?” you ask. Your voice is low and watching you makes me squirm. The muscles in your abs flex and contract as pre-cum drip over your fingers.

“Yes,” I whisper.

“Open your mouth” you instruct. I obey. Slowly you tease me. Brushing my lips with the head of your cock, letting me taste your pre-cum.

“Let me see your tongue.” You bade. My tongue peeks out to touch your cock. You jerk away.

“Not yet.” You tsk. You chuckle when you see my crestfallen expression. “Such a cock hungry girl aren’t you?” You reach down to tilt my chin up. “Patience isn’t your virtue. We need to work on that.”

“It’s not nice to tease me” I pout.

You chuckle. “You should talk.”

You tap my mouth with your cock.  “Just your tongue.” You murmur.

My tongue tiptoes over the wide dome of your cock, the hot raspy velvet caress makes you groan. My tongue swirls around the sensitive ridge underneath. flicking back and forth, quickly then whisper soft long the throbbing vein of your cock before sliding back up to lick. Your groans make me smile.

“Suck!” you groan.

Your eyes never leave mine as I take you into my mouth, my fingers beginning to wrap around the base of your cock. “No,” you pant. “no hands.”

My eyebrows rise at this.  your hips flex forward as you begin to pump your cock in and out my mouth. I groan when your fingers tangle in my hair. Saliva drips down, as you fuck my face.

your moans are turning me on, I am soaking wet but I won’t touch myself.

The first spurts of your cum at the back of my throat made me gasp. I keep sucking until you pull away protesting at how sensitive your cock is. I giggle. I wipe at my mouth and climb back into your lap.

“How do you expect me to work after that?” you ask after nuzzling my throat.

“With great difficulty,” I replied.

You laugh. “Payback will be a bitch,” you warn.

“I hope so.”

“I love you.” you whisper.

“good.” I rest my head on your shoulder.

-working with a distraction like that

Relationship goals?

Co-worker: I want relationship goals like Johnny and Rebecca!

My reaction:

Devi grins and comments “so what kind of chocolate do you like?”

What a silly question! “Dark chocolate! Sea salt! Reese pieces peanut butter!” I start listing all my faves then it finally occurred to me Johnny and I aren’t in a relationship! 

Relationship goals indeed!

I walk off to pout in First Booth!

Oh well, It was cute that other people thought Johnny and I were by all the flirting I did


It was either the heat from the sun or the beer that was fucking with him. Either way, he couldn’t help but aware of her.

As if she sensed his eyes on her, she raised her head to meet his gaze.

He should have been irritated by her awkwardness. Her games. However, the hunger in her eyes was barely hidden in the green depths of her eyes.

His cock twitched in his swimming trunks. Her eyes would linger on his mouth, the I’m -going to- devour- you- sexual energy only intensified whenever she would brush against him. Her touch lingering on his skin.

He adjusted himself so no one could see the bulge in his swimming trunks.

He hated games. Had no time for them.

He silently cursed and wandered off in the direction of the hot tub.

Trees gave plenty shade and it was for the most part private. He took another swig of his beer emptying it before dropping it in the waste bin by the tub. He slid in, the heat of the water, the rumble of the jets relaxing his tense muscles.

Music and conversation seem to fade away as he closed his eyes. He didn’t hear the footsteps on the grass or sense anyone behind him. fingers slid over his shoulders in a gentle caress, sluicing water over his chest.

He tensed. “What are you doing?” he rasped. There was no answer. Just her touch creating a sensual tension.

lips kissed the back of his neck, drifting down to kiss his shoulder. He inhaled sharply. “you should not be doing this. Starting something you have no intention of finishing.” he snapped.

The fingers on his shoulders slid into his hair, twisting into the strands. He grunted as his head was tilted back. Her mouth was on his.The kiss was soft like her awkward like her.

Water sloshed over her, over the side of the hot tub, as he surged upward twisting so he could haul her into the tub.

Her tee shirt plastered to her body, he could see the lace of her bra, the hardened tips of her breasts. his fingers traced the smooth column of her throat where her pulse beat so wildly.  Her damp hair clung to her face and he gently brushed the tendrils free.

“i want you,” she whispered.

-for the last couple of days, I had this in my head. however, I never got past the moment where they are in the hot tub! >_<


I want to be your ray of sunshine. To fulfill your longing

When it seems impossible I want to brighten your day and see you smile

Cultivating your happiness gently; a rare rose kept away from the weeds

I imagine being loved by you, never second guessing us or the moments spent with you

I want to lie with you feeling moments of wholeness

-sometimes deciding what I want is easy, but I taught myself embrace life’s plot twists. I may be single forever but I still enjoy sweet things, the soft blushes of love.