“Becky look its Johnny!” the kitchen crew teased. “Dont you want to say hello?”

Sure. I began to serenade him.

“oh Johnny how do you call your Lover Girl?”

“Come here lover girl”

“and if she doesnt answer?”

“baby ooh my sweet baby you are the one”

he was turning so red

“and then he did this to me!” I made the sign of a heart, broke it threw it to the floor and then stamped on it with my foot.

The kitchen began to laugh. “you still love him.”

“Of course I do. He is my Johnny!”

Devy sighed. “Oh you know I will have to call Johnny’s wife!”

I whirled around to face her. “No!” I cried. “She will kill me!”



I think everyone wants this. Desires this. I do. 💕💕

four out of ten. Could be better.



“Arent you too old for Call of Duty?” she pouted. She had one of the blankets wrapped around her. She nudged him with her foot. She was curled up beside him, while he was playing his PS4.

“No,” he answered coolly. “I play to relax.”

There was silence. “I read books. I blog.”

“Yes I know.”  He turned his head slowly, his electric blue eyes fixing her with an all knowing stare that had her skin warming in awareness. ” I read your blog”

He smirked at her blush and turned back to his game. “I enjoy reading your posts. The erotica is” he paused. “interesting.”

She buried her face in her blanket, muttering something under her breath.

“what was that?”


She wiggled around so she was closer. Her foot resting high on his thigh.

His fingers stilled on the controller and then tightened. His gaze shifting from the flatscreen tv to where her toes wiggled dangerously close to his groin “What are you doing, Becky?”  the words were quiet.

She shrugged. “Making conversation.”

“Really? Is that why your foot is in my crotch trying to play nice with my cock!” he grasped her ankle and plucked her foot off him.

“What?” her innocent outrage was almost as humorous as her denial. “I was stretching! I had a foot cramp!”

“Foot cramp?” he snorted.

“I am inadequate at seducution!” Becky went on, “to even suggest that I would try to seduce you!” she made an attempt laughter. “well its ridiculous.”

The muscles in his back were taut, his arms rigid with tension. Slowly he lowered the controller and twisted in his seat to face her. “Ridiculous?” he echoed. “You know what is ridiculous is reading the smut you write and knowing the truth. You havent had many lovers, Becky. Havent any at all. You know how I know?” he was being cruel, perhaps ruthless but he needed to say it. She was treading on dangerous ground. There was a fine line between a flirt and a cocktease.  “because every time I come near you, you act like a shy schoolgirl. You barely have the self-confidence to say hello to me. Or look me in the eye.”

Becky tried to swallow back a lump of hurt in her throat. “Ok so I cant seduce you with my awkwardness”  still clutching her blanket, she curled her fingers into little fists and mimicked kittens paws. “Am I not cute”

He stared blankly at her, bewildered by where the conversation was going.  he should be angry with her but he couldnt not when she was making her pouty face. Her lips puckered, her cheeks puffed out. Like a chubby cat. He roared with laughter.

“Is that face supposed to be your best Aegyo?” he wheezed. He reached for her, hauling her onto his lap.

“yes” Becky settled into him. Her knees on either side of his hips.

“Are you done with your teasing?” he asked roughly.

“are you done being mean and ignoring me.” Becky countered. She let the blanket fall. She was in nothing but her cami and panties.

“what the fuck!” he muttered.

“oops.” Becky bit her lip, but there was no apology in her eyes. Just a mischievous glint

He glanced over his shoulder to the kitchen, “You know my wife is in the kitchen with my mother…”

Becky wound her arms tight around his neck. “I promise to be quiet.” she nuzzled his throat.

“I miss you” he whispered in her ear “i miss seeing you, being with you tasting you” he kissed her.

He tasted better than she remembered. Coffee chocolate eggs, she delighted in the way his mouth took possession of hers. He was right she hadnt many lovers, because she was always wanting him. He could satiate her every hunger. need.

His mouth moved. Over her jaw. The sizzling heat of his tongue rasping over her pulse made her weak. His hands were under her cami stroking her breasts.

“oh my..” she whimpered.

”ssh be quiet,” he warned.

Becky bit her lip as he continued to play with her nipples. His palm cupped one as his head lowered to suck her nipple into his mouth.

The heat of his breath and the velvet rough texture of his tongue made her wetter.

“Please” Becky whispered.

“shh soon” his hand slid up between her thighs, easing the fabric of her panties aside. “You are so wet. So wet for me,” he crooned. He arranged her so she was sitting forward facing the tv.

Becky could feel his fingers underneath her, unzipping his jeans. Her heartbeat was racing, her blood roaring in her ears. Then he was there. The broadhead of his cock, easing past the slick folds of her pussy, parting them. Teasing the entrance of her hole, before pushing.

As if sensing she was about to scream, he clamped a hand over her mouth, as his cock stretched her, pushing past her clenching muscles. “Fuck baby, I love how you are so tight and wet.” he whispered in her ear. “Take it. oh fuck. Take it deep!” his other hand on her waist, he pulled her down. “You got it all. You got all of my cock inside you.”

Becky whimpered against his hand. The slow rocking motion of his hips drove his cock hard, and deeper.

“Hey babe,” his wife’s voice startled them both. “Where did you say we are vacationing again this summer?”

He slowly withdrew his hand from Becky’s mouth. He gave her the controller and arranged the blanket so it covered them both. “California.”

“Oh. What are you two doing?” she asked.

“I am trying to teach her how to play this game, but like a sore loser she is, she is sucking really bad!” he laughed.

Becky clenched her muscles around his cock. He grimaced.

“I don’t like first-person shooter games” Becky agreed. “When I had SNES I couldn’t pass Mario Bros to save my life!” as she spoke she clenched her pussy muscles.

His  wife laughed. “Ugh I cant play games either. But it helps him relax who am I to judge.”

His wife walked back into the kitchen, still laughing.

Without warning, he withdrew his hips and slammed upwards. The hard thrust drove him deep inside Becky, causing her to cry out. He brought her mouth to his to silence her, as he fucked her hard and deep. Her cum dripping down his cock, balls soaking his jeans.

He didnt use protection, the thought came to mind absently as he pumped her full of his cum. He groaned as he eased her off him, the sight of his cum dripping from her pussy, made him grin. “hmm you never mentioned a cream pie in any of your posts.”

She stretched, and glanced over at him. “your jeans are a mess.” she giggled.

“Did you hear what I said?”

“yeah. ” she leaned over to kiss him. “cream pies are for porn. I write erotica not porn.”

He burst out laughing.









It is a beautiful sunny day! However, my vampire eyes cant handle it!

I love the sunshine!

I suffered a migraine yesterday, so after my niece left I slept all day. No supper. I didnt wake up til 10am! 18 hours of sleep!

I decided to give into my heart’s desire and buy books.

I would like to be so rich that I could be buying all books I desired. Rebuild my personal library so I could lie in the sun and read all the time!

is a book lover if they cry over a book lost?

I thought I would buy only 1 book to enjoy. However, I managed to find two Cassie Palmer books to continue with the series. Oh my god, I missed Pritikin!

I bought Kay Hooper’s latest Bishop series. I love Hollis Templeton. I think Kay should change the name of the series to the Templeton series because its no longer about Noah Bishop and his wife Miranda Knight and their taskforce. Just about Hollis and her special ability. I am not complaining! Because I adore Hollis!!!

I bought a book in a brand new series by Shannon Mayer. Its being compared to Anita Blake by Laurell K Hamilton. I dont mind the first books of Anita Blake. Later on (the one where she becomes a succubus? Ardeur.) ugh no thank you. maybe Mayer will be better. I dont pay attention to reviews or critics.

I also bought Lora Leigh’s book in her latest series Brute Force. I adored her Callahan Brothers Series. The ambience was dark sexy and of course a mystery. I also enjoyed her Elite Ops series. Livewire. Sigh. Then of course there was the Bound Hearts series. Only enjoyed a couple of them. Because the storyline became repetitive. I mean how many times can a woman fall in love with two men. Have a menage a trois. Fall in love with two brothers. etc. It was always two men. Somehow the woman was always broken. the men had to fix her. Or one of the men was broken and somehow being the Third would help him. I am hoping Collison Point will be better than the others!

You know what makes my day?

When I see my name in a book by a favorite author! If only a supporting character! ♥

Rebecca Hastings. In Til Death Do Us Part by Amanda Quick. AKA Jayne Ann Krentz




I had a dream early this morning that had me thinking about it all day.

We dream about people know or have seen. We dream about our past lives.

I wonder if we dream about our past lives, and our true love from that past life but dont realize it?

The dream was about a relative being married. It was an arranged marriage between the colony of Mennonites that my relatives grew up in, and the Russian Mennonites. (Immigrates)

My niece was supposed to be part of the wedding. However, she resented how traditional it was. How she had to be so polite, courteous etc. She couldnt understand the Plautedeutsch, High German, Russian, German being spoken among everybody. She was being very rebellious.

The wedding colors were red and black. (ironically the wedding colors I want)

The women of the church, brides family, grooms family were all in attendance to have a little welcoming party for the bride when my niece brought her girlfriend. My mother was not too happy about it. Especially since the girlfriend was dressed like a goth lolita. Her hair was dark black with an undercut. The rest of the women were so scandalized they insisted that my niece and her girlfriend leave. Oh my niece left, but not before kissing her girlfriend. A long slow french kiss.

The girlfriend realized my niece was using her to get back at my mom and sister, and fled the church crying


I was so angry by my niece’s behavior that I hauled her outside, “If you don’t start behaving, you will be excommunicated. Do you understand what that means? That means you will never see your mother, grandmother, grandfather or me again. Ever! You will be alone!”

“I rather be alone than be with these hypocrites!” my niece cried. “You dont even accept me!”

“I do accept you, but you’re ruining your cousin’s wedding by being selfish!”

“I hate you auntie!” she ran off.

I started to cry.

I went for a walk, crying in search of something. someone (I realized later who that was)

The wedding started, and my niece returned to the church. I had taken a seat behind the groom’s family. I was still so hurt and upset by her words, and she was making a scene about being part of the wedding party.

“You will sit down by your aunt right now!” a male voice snapped. I looked up to find the groom’s brother in law dragging my niece down the aisle, pushing her between the rows of seats til she was beside me. “You will keep your mouth shut. You will be seen and not heard. You want to act like a child we will treat you like one!”

He had blonde hair. Very good looking (looked like Twan and one of my customers Emil)

He moved to the seat on the other side of me, he sat down. His arm around me. He was so furious he was speaking to me in Russian.

“You cant treat me like this.” my niece pouted.

He leaned over and hissed. “I will take you outside and beat you with my belt if you dont shut up!”

I buried my face in his chest, finding comfort. “You ok” he asked.

We spoke in Russian, and in that moment I never felt a sense of peace or love as I did then. It was wonderful.

Then I had to wake up.

I dont know Russian.

However in some of my dreams I spoke fluent Chinese, French and now Russian. Hmm.



Image result for tumblr beaches

All I ever wanted was my life without any worries. To have a happy heart. To smile constantly. To make my lover happy. To go on adventures. No regrets.

-random thoughts.




Being happy and joyful. Sometimes it comes easy to people, loving life and enjoying every moment. Others not so much. Pretending to be happy can be exhausting. Or having a lot of negative thoughts and people with negative energy saps yours positivity leaving you feeling resentful,  angry or depressed.

If I am feeling weighed down by my thoughts or other people’s negativity I think of what makes me happy.

For example:

Friendships that last forever. -love one another. Inspire each other. Carry one another when one is faltering. Have each other back. More than friends you’re family!

Babies: now I know I say I will never have children, that I don’t like children. I love babies! I love watching them sleep, learn, crawl, eat. It’s fascinating how someone so tiny can grow into an adult!

couples: I love couple watching. The way they respond to each other. Laugh, kiss fight love. Sometimes it annoys me when women act like bitches when they don’t need to, or men act like assholes. But I love comparing love in reality to love in fiction.

or I plug in music so I tune out the world!

  • sometimes I am happy that we have social media so we can glimpse into other people’s lives and see what they are going through what makes them happy. Diddy’s instagram inspired this post. He always seems so happy. Happy to be with friends and family. He celebrates life as much as he remembers his best friend Chris “the Notorious B.I.G” Wallace

i think everyone wants to be happy and not fake it!😘😘

warm and fuzzy all over

I had a dream about you.

Everybody was at the ranch. There was food. Laughter.

You sat across from me, watching me eat. (my pet peeve!!!)

“Why do you keep staring at me!” I cried. “Do I have something on my face?”

You smiled, finished chewing your food and leaned over to kiss my cheek.

“No I just miss you!”


I kept thinking about that dream! Its funny how the simplest things can make someone warm and happy inside! Even if it was just a dream!

Makes me wonder if he had a dream about me at the same time! ♥♥♥


There was something about the way she was holding his youngest son that made his heart twist in his chest. Her expression so pure so loving. She would make a remarkable mother, the thought hit him, even though she made it perfectly clear on numerous occasions she had no inclination to have children.
Which is why he found their arrangement perfect. He was married, he had enormous responsibilities. On the occasions he did mention his wife and children, she would listen intently. He cared her for so deeply, and the sex was incredible. She never pressured him for anything more. Money was unimportant to her, even though he spoiled her.
An idea so foreign to him that he didn’t allow it to come to fruition, came to mind. What if Becky was carrying his child, Mason almost choked on his drink. The alcohol stinging the back of his throat. He stared at her, dumbfounded by what his mind was forcing him to ponder. It was ludicrous! Did he even want her to have his baby?
Her hair fell over her face, veiling her features. His son reached out with chubby fingers and grabbed the strands. He tugged. Becky let out a delighted laugh, the glow on her face kicked him hard in the chest, leaving him breathless. She spoke to the baby in another language, and the baby cooed.
Mason wanted to reach out and smooth the strands of Becky’s hair There was nothing remarkable about her looks, she could easily get lost in the background but there was something about her that always drew his focus to her.
Maybe it was the way she would laugh, even though she was sad. Or the way her eyes would crack fire when she was angry. His lips kicked at the corner with amusement when he realized she caught him staring at her. Again. She was avoiding his gaze with the shyness of a school girl.
“Its rude to stare!” she scolded him.
“Who me? Look at you, holding my son. It is so natural.” he teased.
She scowled. “Babies are cute, its when they grow and become the bane of society”
Mason roared with laughter, he pushed himself off the doorframe. He strode into the nursery. “You have such high expectations of my son,” he plucked the baby out of her arms. “Did you hear what the mean lady said?” he cooed to his son, “she said you were going to be the bane of society. You will prove her wrong, right?”
His son gurgled a response and Mason grinned. “See, takes after his old man!”
“Yeah you are old,” Becky chuckled.
Mason gasped. “Hitting me below the belt.” he tucked his son into his crib and turned to Becky. “were you saying something to my son earlier?”
Becky shrugged, “You are so Englisch.” she sighed. “It’s Plautsdeutch. Slang german. I was telling your boy I love you.”
Mason’s throat tightened with unexpected emotion. He pulled her close, “Watching you with him,” he began, “I had a crazy thought.”
Becky kissed his throat, “What kind of crazy thoughts.”
“We didn’t use protection most of the time,” Mason murmured. “Is it possible you could be pregnant?”
her skin was turning pink, from embarrassment or anger he couldn’t really tell. But he enjoyed how she would react to him. Her words would fumble over her tongue. She would become so flustered, her heartbeat would flutter at her neck like a butterfly’s wing.
“What?” Becky sputtered, “pregnant? Don’t be ridiculous.”
“Is it so ridiculous?” he let his fingers brush against her cheek, stroking her jaw down her throat. He loved the silkiness of her skin, the soft scent of her lingered in his senses, even when she wasn’t close.
She made a huffing sound but didn’t move. “Yes, it is. I told you I don’t want any children,” she whispered.
mason was silent for a moment, “But what if,”
“There is no ‘what if’ Mason!” she snapped. “I am not pregnant. If you want another child, you have your wife. But I don’t want your child. I don’t want any children!”
Hurt seared through him, leaving Mason unexpectedly breathless. “Ok, I was just thinking out loud.” he kissed the top of her head.
She nuzzled her face into his throat. “I am sorry if I hurt you, but the thought of having children scares me.”
He smiled. “Why?”
She shrugged, “I am going to be like Captain Von Trapp from the Sound of Music. Militant, discipline and unyielding with my kids.”
Mason chuckled. “And loving,” he added.
“Well, lets continue this conversation over food. I might be able to convince you to have my baby if I feed you” he took her hand.

-a thought I had.


I wonder if this year will be the year:

  1. I will love freely to create intimate, deep and meaningful relationships
  2. to open up my heart and let someone get to know me and who I truly am
  3. to trust someone completely again.