Rewatching one of my favourite serials: Sea of Souls. A BBC paranormal series that investigates psychic and paranormal activity.

“Prove that I am not my twin” – a fascinating episode of psychic identical twins who were separated at birth and by chance met later in life.

A perfect murder. Because not only did one twin kill the other twin she took over her sister’s life. Making it impossible for her family to notice. Only the dead twin’s friend-a para-psychologist realized too late.

I love a perfect mystery. fictional too.

But this one really irked me. Shoe laces! That is how he knew which twin died! One looped. One crossed their laces!

The investigating team had many chances to have both twins fingerprints/DNA – granted neither were of consent. nonetheless the opportunities were there!

I think I do well with telling twins apart. Knowing other people’s quirks. Well enough to know if someone took over someone’s identity? Nope!

Good grief! I had trouble dealing with my doppelgängers! All 7 of them! I can’t imagine being someone’s twin. Having similar quirks, thoughts, and sharing everything? I don’t even share my food! I don’t even remember my favourites!

It is quite fascinating I admit. Being a twin.

Before I forget. A list of my favourite UK shows from back in the day.


Horror movie set

Boat house in the water. It’s dark. Cold. See someone running behind the green screen. Missed my line. Someone taps my head.

i let out a scream “that was your cue two minutes ago ” Anthony lemke chuckled.

i glared at him.

“Come on Rebecca!” The director snarled “how hard is it to say two lines?!”

Anthony helped me out of the water.

“the water is freezing” I gestured for a blanket, slapping away a towel. “Turn up the temperature so I can concentrate”

“Leonardo and Kate did titanic in worse conditions ” the director argued

i glared at him “both nearly drowned in their controlled environment. You are not James Cameron. Don’t flatter yourself into thinking that I won’t walk off this set and not lose sleep over it!”

the director flushed an angry red “you were hired to do a job”

“like I said won’t lose sleep. I will be in my trailer”

anthony followed me “your kind of attitude makes enemies in this business ” he laughed

I laughed “a woman shouldn’t have to suffer at the hands of egotistical bastards and expect a paycheque” I opened the door to my trailer, hesitated and glanced over my shoulder “you can keep me company if you want”

Anthony smiled ” I’m not that kind of guy”

“who said I was that kind of woman?” I purred reaching for him.

he laughed.”you’re impossible!” He  danced me into the trailer and closed the door behind him.

sometime later we were called back to scene.

i slid back into the water. Sighing with pleasure as the heated depths rushed up to get me. The water felt warm yet greasy, a different texture. I frowned. Glancing into the murky depths, I could see swirls of a substance congealing atop.

i held a finger close to my nose and sniffed

The scent was faint familiar. Acrid.

I sniffed once more. Horror dawning on me. The water had been doused with gasoline.

“get out!” I screamed. I frantically climbed out scrambling to get out of my clothes “get out!”

i shoved Anthony and the director out of the set, “its gasoline!”

people started to scream running and a huge fireball surged thru the air, engulfing the boat house




The call came around Two thirty am.

He answered on the third ring, with a succinct, “No.”

“Did I wake you?” the gruff male voice belonged to his partner, Nick Henry.
Correction. Former partner. He handed in his gun and shield two months ago. He hadnt heard shit from his former squad, or friends since…
There was no use thinking about it.
Travis ran a rough hand over his face, and sat up in his bed. He didnt bother turning on the lights. “The answer is no,” he repeated.
“Its a bad one, Travis.” Henry went on as if he didnt hear him. “The Captain wants you in on this.”
Travis grunted. Yeah, like that fact the Captain wanted him, would be enough to persuade him to come back in.
To Captain Tully Pullman, everything was all about appearance and dramatics. His homicide division had the highest clearance rate in the Tri-city area. The man was by the book, and every chance he got, he was in the media, crowing about how none of the other Precincts had the kind of detectives he had. Too bad all his bragging, put him on the shit list with the Brass. where Travis was concerned, he was just another asshole.
While Henry spoke, Travis hauled off the sheets. He noted they stank of sweat and body odor.

He winced. He hadnt cleaned them in a week. He made a mental note to do that later that morning. He scratched his chest, and swung his feet off to the side of the bed.

Travis walked into the bathroom, the mobile phone still attached to his ear. He put the phone on speaker, and put it on the counter and turned on the water.
“Are you listening?” Henry barked.
Travis glared at the mobile. “Yeah!” he answered. “The answer is still no!”
He splashed cold water on his face, and peered at his appearance. He winced at his reflection.
When had he gotten so old?
Tufts of cinnamon brown hair, streaked with grey stuck up from his scalp. His face was gaunt, the sharp edges of his cheekbones would have made a supermodel jealous. Dark shadows rimmed his blood shot eyes indicating he hadnt been sleeping well. which in truth, he hadnt slept a night since he quit his job.
He hunched his shoulders, the sun kissed freckles there dotted over his back and chest disappearing into the dark curls of hair that spread across his chest and abdomen.
He had been in great shape; he remembered, his lips curling.

now his collar bone jutted out, and his shoulders werent as huge as they used to be. Just wide and lean.
Forty-three, unemployed and he looked like a crack head, he thought derisively, that was his life now.
“I never saw anything like this in my twenty years of service.” Henry was still speaking. “I have heard of Vampire cults. But someone actually drinking blood… there are transmitted diseases…out there.”
Travis stopped brushing his teeth. “What did you say?” something in him stirred. Interest, and unease.
“Goddamn it, Travis! Havent you been listening to a word, I’ve been saying?” Henry bellowed.
Travis grinned through a lather of toothpaste. “No, H. You talk just to listen to hear your own voice.”

Henry let out a string of curses, and Travis laughed. “I will be there in twenty. Lets be clear on one thing. I will take a look at the crime scene. I am not promising anything.”

Travis pulled up to the address, Henry gave him twenty minutes later. It was a quaint little neighborhood, he noted. Designed for what was that internet slang again? Designed for Hipsters. Aesthetic  and neatly compact buildings along one street, and little fenced in homes on the other.
His fingers on the keys, he hesitated before turning off the ignition.
Why was he here? He wondered. It wasnt like he was doing the Homicide division any favors?
He turned off the ignition, and pocketed the keys. He glanced down at the console.
He wasnt liked by many in his division, even Henry – his partner, could barely stand him.
He reached for his Voice Tracer Digital Recorder, for all his wealth of intellect there was one thing he could never fix, so he became incredibly adept at hiding it. He pocketted the Voice Tracer, and kept it close, the way other detectives kept their notebooks close.

The walk to the apartment building was well lit, he noted this as well as the fact there was no doorman. He glanced around. The lobby and the numerous video cameras. Interesting.

The apartment itself, had an elevator, but it was out of order, he noted. while the walk up was invigorating, he also noted how long it took to get to the sixth floor.
thirty minutes. If one was in good health, it probably took less.
A tall balding man met him at the stairwell, the scowl on his dark features made Travis smile. The man still wore Armani as if it was never going out of style, his slim build giving away to a little fat in the middle. The older man had style, something Travis gave him credit, and he – himself, never had time for.

“You look like shit” Henry grumbled, as Travis entered the hallway.
Travis didnt say anything, but followed Henry down the entry way. “Nice building.” He said. “No security though.”
Henry grunted. “There are security cameras in every hallway, every stairway. Even the elevator.” he muttered, the disdainful way he spoke of the elevator caused Travis to raise an eyebrow.
“Your heart must be thanking you.” he taunted.
“Fuck you, Travis.” Henry spat. They turned the corner. “The cameras were installed last year, after the victim moved in.” he gestured to the door that was manned by one of the officers. “Officer Mann, was the first one to arrive.”
“Has anybody canvas the area yet?” Travis asked.
The Incident Officer blinked owlishly at Travis offering the clipboard to sign in. “Well, we canvased the neighboring suites…”
“I want the neighborhood done.” Travis murmured. “This isnt your first time securing a crime scene is it, Officer?”
“But its 3am..” the officer stammered.
Travis narrowed his eyes. “I see, so you just screwed up already. That will be mentioned in my report. I want officers canvassing every house.”

“Ok, sir, but you..could you…” the officer once more offered the clipboard, but Travis didnt acknowledge him.

He shoved a pair of Booties over his runners, snapped a pair of gloves on.He walked past Mann, and into the room. Henry muttered an oath behind him.

The smell of lemon grass hit him, the cloying scent made his stomach coil. He clenched his fingers around the Tracer.
“Lemon grass,” Travis muttered.

“Lemon what now?” Henry asked.
“Lemon grass or citronella.” Travis replied. “Its what we are smelling.”
The apartment was a two story loft. The family pictures on the wall in the foyer were neatly aligned, where he stood.

A young woman standing with an older man and woman. She was pretty, a gap tooth smile. Her small chin. Her eyes were sparkling with laughter.
Travis studied the pictures awhile longer, his finger stroking over the girl’s arms. she wore her shirtsleeves short in some pictures, while in others long, he thought.
“You gonna stand there all day,Travis?!” Henry barked.
Travis’s lips curled into a smile. “You gotta a better place to be, old man?” he replied. Henry humphed.
Travis stuck his hands in his pockets and walked down the hallway, into the rest of the loft. Black chinese folding screens divided the space.

The kitchen was neat and tidy. He threw it a cursory glance. A row of herbs lined the counter top. Each labelled with neat cursive writing.
“So what do you think of the little garden she has there?” Travis drawled.
Henry glared at him. “What do I think?!” he asked. “Do I look like look a black Martha Stewart to you?”
Travis winked, “I think you would look very fine in garden gloves.” he went on. “In fact I can see it now..”
Throughly incensed, Henry stalked over to the counter. “I am a man, a man doesnt care about his green thumb!” With his gloved hands, he plucked two of the potted plants and shoved them in Travis’s face.
“Basil, Chamomile, ” he snorted with disgust. He put the two down and read off the other plants. ‘What kind of person plants…” he breaks off. “Rosemary, Sage, Citronella and Blessed thistle, Good Lord, this one says Vervain!”
Vervain. Travis stiffened. “Indeed what kind of person plants these hideous things.”
Travis pivotted on his heel and walked into what must have served as the living room. A huge flat screen tv mounted one wall. Again, neat little photo frames were meticiously on other side of the tv.
The comfortable looking couch, with a shawl thrown over it had been moved, the scuff marks had blackened the laminated wood floor.
“That was moved when we got here.” Henry muttered.
Travis didnt say anything, something caught his interest. He crouched, and he swiped at it. It was gritty on his fingertips. He frowned. Staring at his hands, he saw the tiny granules of white crystals on the pads of his finger. Sticky.
He sniffed it. Fruity.
“What the hell are you doing there, Travis?” Henry sighed. “Oh god please tell me you are not going to lick it…”
Travis touched his tongue to one finger. He grimaced.
“Oh my god, you are an animal! An animal!” Henry exclaimed. “You are contaminating the crime scene!”
Travis shook his head, and straightened. “Nah, that right there, was olive oil and salt.”
Henry frowned. “Like a vinaigrette?”

Travis shook his head. “No.” he glanced around.
Olive oil, salt, Vervain, Blessed Thistle, Sage… Travis knew there was something vaguely familar about these odd elements.
“Where is the body?”
Henry sighed. “Now? You want to see the victim?” he growled.
Travis fixed him a stare. Henry grumbled something under his breath, and gestured for him to follow.
“Victim’s name was Faith Connor.” Travis murmured. “She was twenty -three.”
Henry grunted. “She lived here by herself, she had no room-mates.”
The smell of blood and decomp was becoming stronger as they neared the foot of the stairwell.
“A room mate would put too much stress on her,” Travis thought outloud, “She was until a year ago living with her parents.”
Henry snorted, “Maybe her parents got tired of her mooching off them?”
Travis’s eyes narrowed. Henry was slow on the uptake. “No, I dont think thats it.” he replied drily.

Henry led him into a small room cornered by one of the folding screens. “I will warn you, it is creepy. No one wants to go inside!” he hissed.

There were a number of Crime Scene Investigators already fidgeting about, their faces pale, some making the signs of the crosses but Travis didnt notice them.
The sweet scent of death swirled violently into the air, and with it another perfume. Incense, he thought.
He stepped forward.
The room was darker than the rest of the loft, it took a moment for Travis’s eyes to adjust.
Sconces on the wall were lit, the flames flickering as the wax dripped over the metal unto the floor below. At first he didnt see her, the young woman in repose in the middle of the room.
He took a step toward her, then he realized what had his co-workers in a tizzy.

Flames from the candles snapped and crackled, as they illuminated the circle the surrounded the young woman.
A double protective circle that framed a perfect pentagram.
Travis inhaled deeply.
The circle was drawn meticulously. She wouldnt have it any other way, Travis thought. He stepped closer, careful not to disturb the circle.
The filmy translucent nightgown smoothed down her body in a neat line. Her hands outstretched to the east and west, her feet outstretched as well. “The Goddess position,” he murmured to himself, more to anyone else.
Blood had pooled under her, her hair soaking most of it up, becoming matted and clumpy. The candles flickered again, and Travis’s eyes fell to the floor around the girl.
Tiny rivulets of blood, had trickled away from her body, in the direction of the five corners of the pentagram, then started to congeal there.
Travis’s stomach turned in revulsion.

“Tell me,” he said finally, “Did you at least take pictures?”
“Some.” came the reply.
“I want more, do not disturb the circle. I want pictures taken from every angle, and then I want this room processed.”
There was twittering behind him, Travis slowly turned on his heel to stare at the men and women behind him. “Do we have a problem?” he demanded. “Maybe I am not making myself clear?”
There were grumbles, prayers said, and reluctantly the CSI’s moved into the room. Light flooded into the room, a moment later.
Travis gestured Henry to follow him, “Do not smudge the salt please.” he instructed. Once inside the circle, Travis crouched to examine the girl more closely.
“Not a vampire cult huh?” Henry asked.
“I dont even want to know where you got that idea from.” Travis muttered.
Travis eyes took in the closed eyelids, the slightly parted lips, her reddish teeth, where blood had spurted up into her mouth. Someone had taken great care to wipe her mouth. He gripped her chin, twisting her head to the left and the right. Not even a drop of red in the corners of her mouth.
“Neighbors didnt hear her screaming, they had been out all night. Superintendent will let us look at the tapes later on in the morning.” Henry murmured.
Travis frowned. Holding up Faith Connor’s hands, he examined her arms. Scars. Fresh lines over old ones.
“What is that?” Henry asked.
“Self mutilation.” Travis murmured.
He didnt have to see Henry’s grimace. His own insides turn. For all outward appearances, Faith Connor appeared to be a healthy happy young woman. On the inside, she was breaking, and she had no way of communicating that to the outside world.
Travis let his eyes travel over Faith’s body. The night gown too absorbed the blood beneath her, and around her abdomen area.
He scooted around her, his frown deepening. He glanced down where he knelt. Blood pooled beneath her, yet didnt make enough of a mess. He chuckled. Faith Connor would have loved to know that even in death, she was neat and tidy.
“Whats so damn funny?” Henry demanded. “You are one strange dude.”
Travis glanced up at his partner. “Really, Henry? Who says dude anymore?”
Henry flushed, the red creeping up his dark skin. “”Dude” will never get old. Ok. It has been around for years!” he snapped.

-this drabble was started on my old computer when it crashed. it took me forever to find it on my wp posts. horrible paragraphing. ha ha


“Nah its not Eli. its Kiernan! he’s so defensive Eli has nothing to lose by revealing everything to Emma. Kiernan has everything to lose by lying to her” I muttered.

The hairs on the back of my neck stood straight up when Kiernan’s whole demeanor change! His loving caring expression, slowly to turned to maniacal hatred. His hair covering his blue eyes reminded me of Jack Nicholson in the Shining. Pure evil madness!

Yet it was the sudden change of love to hatred that rattled me. He had played Emma the whole time. Out of revenge. He had loved her half sister Piper, but when Emma and Audrey killed Piper, he had to seek revenge by pretending to fall in love with her.To kill her, and her friends!

“Holy fudge! holy fudge! oh, the betrayal! oh, the inhumanity! the whole time it was Kiernan! I had been right the whole time!!! Since season 1” I crowed “I am the World’s Greatest Detective!”

Image result for victory dance gifs

I am not a detective.  I solve the crime on tv. Its what I do. Its who I am.


“No! he did not just open that door without gloves!!! Oh my god! They are entering a suspects residence without a warrant. They are not using gloves. Oh my god! Way to blow your case!”
– face palming myself at Ray canstan’s carelessness!!!
Secret in Their Eyes.

Don’t mind my commentary

“How did he know it was Cobb’s daughter? Her hair and newspaper was obstructing her face!”
-Don’t mind my commentary.

– when Jessica Cobb’s daughter is found
Secret in Their Eyes


I love a good mystery movie. A thriller, or a good who done it.
Its a good mystery if I don’t solve it within minutes. I also like a good mystery which I am surprised by the ending.
Today I decided to watch A Secret in Their Eyes.

Rising FBI investigators Ray (Chiwetel Ejiofor) and Jess (Julia Roberts) are investigating a Sleeper Cell/ Mosque when a call comes in about a murder.
The body of Jess’s daughter is found, complicating the investigation of the Mosque, while their team falls apart.
Over 13 years
Ray becomes obsessed with finding  a suspect, trying to bring closure for Jess and himself.
I like the slow daunting tale.
The flashbacks from the present to the past.
Ray’s anger towards his boss for not prosecuting the suspect and his passion for justice  superceded his badge, his life and normalcy.
Ejiofor was wonderful as an unrelenting emotional detective!
Julia Roberts stark emotion as a mourning mother trying to find peace often brought me to tears!


“Every other small business computer spreadsheet will look like stone tablets”

When they mention:
* silicon valley
*computer programing
* computer code
* Memory stored on floppy disks.
in 1992.  they think they were high tech
Nah stone age!
-watching Murder She Wrote.


“you think you know her. Understand her, simply because you have taken her to your bed.” he chuckled ruefully. He took a sip of his whiskey, letting the amber liquid burn his throat, then set the shot glass down.

“Oh this is going to be rich,” Jack muttered. “I am going to be schooled in how relationships work by the one man who couldnt keep one!”

“Jacky, m’boy” Mason purred, his voice was no longer slurred from drinking, but steel sharp. “I am going to beat the stupid out you if you dont sit down and shut up!”

Jack glared at the older man, and straddled the chair.

Mason poured himself another whiskey. He undid his tie, and rolled up his sleeves. He stared blearily at the young man before him, and then at his shot glass.

“Women can bewilder us, Jacky” he murmured.

“Rory  isnt a puzzle or a riddle you have to solve, Mason” Jack snapped.

Mason snorted. “she is a mere woman.” he shot back sarcastically. “an enigma, simply a figment of my imagination”

Jack nodded finally accepting the drink Mason was offering. He took a sip.

“I see,” Mason muttered. “The moment you two met was kismet. As if fate had simply let her walk right into you.” he let out a little laugh. “Which is ridiculous, right Jacky? You dont believe in destiny and soul mates! That junk science is for fools?” He swirled the whiskey in his glass, then looked at Jack. His features unreadable. “Yet there you were, standing there looking down at her, everything you knew seemed so insignificant. her  large dark eyes made you  want to protect her. From what? Who knows? Just make her sadness go away.”

A chill crept over Jack’s shoulders down his back. He had never told anyone how he felt when he met Rory.

“she could make you feel like a king, cater to you. Her mouth did things no one else could. Her touch made you ache even when you werent near,” Mason spoke softly, his grip tight on the glass. “she would take you to her bed and ask you to do things no woman in her right mind would dare ask you to do. You would, because she drove you insane.”

Jack swallowed hard as his skin remembered every caress every stroke Rory made to his body. She would plead with him to take her to heaven, make her cum…

He realised Mason was still speaking, but he was staring off as if he was reliving a memory.”Enough, Mason. Thats enough”

“you would plead with her but she would laugh,” Mason sighed. “it made you wonder who was in control. Were you in control?”

“Of course I was…” Jack snapped.

“It would be the little things. Calling you at work. To make sure you were there. Running into you the parking lot. She would make excuses,”

Jack frowned, there had been a few times when he would be in meetings and there would be messages with her showing some skin. Or she would show up unannounced at a poker game.

“she would reward you,” Mason went on, “indulging a fantasy you might have.”

The uneasiness that curdled Jack’s stomach was growing.

“you couldnt get enough,” Mason’s voice rumbled in his head.

Jack shook his head then he realised Mason was staring past him. He turned in his chair to find Rory behind him.

Her long dark hair coiled down her back like snakes. A white chemise dress clung to her curves leaving nothing to the imagination. A chain of pearls was around her neck, nestling in her ample breasts. the way her round ass swayed as she walked, made him growl in appreciation. Her dark red lips pursed in disapproval.

Rory’s eyes were fixed on him, as she approached the table and Jack started to get up, when she slid her hands over his shoulders and pushing back down.

“You werent ready for me.” Rory rasped.

Jack was bewildered. “You two know each other?” he stared at Rory then Mason.  he couldnt believe this was happening.

Rory’s fingers stroked over his broad shoulders to pacify him, her eyes never leaving Mason’s.

“I see, playing with some pup until I came around?” Mason demanded.

Rory played with the pearls at her neck. “It was fun.”

Jack could barely comprehend what was going on. “Rory explain yourself!”

Mason took another swig of whisky.  “He doesnt have a clue,” he laughed morosely.

Rory pushed away from Jack. “Are you coming or not?” she demanded.

Jack started to rise out of his chair, when he felt agonizing pain. Startled and confused he glanced down to find a knife had jammed itself in his stomach. Blood spurted over his fingers. He staggered, the chair scattering and he was about to fall when Mason reached out for him.

Mason stood. With one hand on Jack’s shoulder as if to give him a degree of comfort, he reach down between them for his dagger. he smiled. “Walking in a straight line was never really Rory’s style” he winked at the younger man, and drove the dagger deeper. “She needs someone to appreciate her darkness.Her heart was always with me.”

Jack opened his mouth, but blood bubbled over his lips. “We met and it was kismet.” Mason leaned into whisper in his ear. “destiny.”

His panick filled eyes collided with Rory’s. Her eyes were wide in shock. Her hands clapped to her mouth as if to stifle her scream. Then slowly her fingers eased away, and the delight that curved her mouth made him recoil in horror.

Jack struggled but Mason’s grip was firm, and Mason pulled out his dagger. “One day you will understand, Jacky m’boy. ” he released the younger man. Jack collasped, at his feet.

Stepping over the body, Mason reached for Rory. “I was always ready for you.” he mused.”I was waiting for you to see me. See us. We were meant for each other.”

Rory took his hand, and stepped into his arms. “Forever,” she breathed.

“you light up my world,” Mason whispered. “Here we are together. The darkness can swallow us both or we can set this place on fire.”

  • i was feeling morbid today.




I landed hard on the ground, pain ricocheting throughout my body. The pain was nothing. Another emotion getting in my way.

My eyes fluttered open and closed before my gaze focused on the object inches from my fingers.

The USB drive.

My fingers trembling, I reached out to snatch the drive up. It hurt to move, but I let the pain wash over me. It was nothing.

The thought startled me for a moment, but then disappeared

I struggled to my feet, swaying as nausea and dizziness threatened to overwhelm me. I turned.

The girl was still there. The one who looked like me sounded like me but was not me. Her wax blonde hair plastered to her pale face. She wore the identical grey tee shirt and blue scrub pants.

She had a necklace around her neck, a Phoenix pendant. It swung hypnotically  as she moved towards me, she wanted to hurt me. She wanted to take something from me, my thoughts were jumbled in confusion.

“Kate, please. Let’s talk.” She was talking to me. Why was she calling me Kate? I was Mirah! She was Kate.

She too had something in her hands, a cup. Why would she have a cup? I wondered.

The girl suddenly lunged at me,throwing the contents of her cup at me. A milky white substance splattered on my hair as I tried to duck and swerve out of the way.

The pop and sizzle of flesh burning echoed in my ears, agony ripped through every cell in my body as the substance ate through most of my scalp and skin.


She was trying to kill me.

Suddenly memories came rushing back, tiny farmhouse, men, and women dressed in the same coloured outfits, children running screaming as bodies began to hit the floor.

I shook my head, enraged now by the pain and by the memories.

“Do you think that acid would stop me!” I shouted, my fist caught in her the face. “Pain is nothing, pain is inconsequential!”

Her head would whip to the side, blood dripping from her nose. She staggered back. I followed. She barely defended herself, before I was crumpling to my knees.

I stared up at her, her face hazy. She wiped at her nose and mouth and smiled. Cold. “That’s the problem with you Kate you’re too predictable!” She sneered.

“My name is Mirah” I hissed.

I fell forward into the grass, my body numb with excruciating pain.

Pain is nothing.

“You and I were supposed to die that night, at the compound” the girl whispered. “It was a sign from God. We were special. I was special! Not you! No one else!” She shouted. “When I saw you here, and you had no memory! Well, I just couldn’t take that chance!”

Voices were shouting my name and  Kate’s name. She halted. ” Kate is here.Over here!” She waved them over.

Drifting in and out of the darkness, I could hear a man. Vaguely familiar. Gentle hands were on me. “What the fuck happened, Mirah?!”He shouted “oh my god where’s the medics?! You were supposed to take Kate in alive!”

Over the dull pounding in my head, it occurred to me that this man thought I was Kate. No…

I struggled to open my eyes.

Blue eyes glared into mine. The tall blond haired man knelt over me.

M. My handler, my lover.

Tears blurred my vision, M and I were lovers for years and even he couldn’t tell us apart!

“Not Kate! Mirah!” I rasped. “Don’t let her get the USB drive ”

He slapped at my hands trying to see how wounded I was, “Shut up, Kate. You are lucky Mirah didn’t kill you! Even a hospital is too good for you!”

I gripped at his hand, my nails biting into his skin. “I am not Kate.” I rasped. “Look at me! Look at me damn you!” I stared into his blue eyes the coldness within made me heart sick, agony racking my body.

“remember that night when the blue jays won the World Series?” I coughed, “I told you I love you. I loved you more than life. You told me it was a silly girl thing to say to a man. ” I took another breath, it hurt as the air filled my lungs. “but I have loved you my entire life. and you said, “impossible we didn’t know we each other our whole lives”

Panic in the icy depths of his blue eyes almost made me cry in relief. M was remembering that night. He was realising it was me not Kate.

His caution gave way to devastation, his voice shook with emotion “I told you that if we were meant to be nothing would stand in our way, not life or death. that we would be together” he choked, His forehead fell on mine. “Mirah. oh my god, what have you done.”

kissing me roughly, his hands shook as he took the USB and shoved it in his back pocket. “Oh my god, where is the medic!” He shouted. He gingerly lifted me into his arms. Rocking me back and forth, I could feel his tears on my burnt skin. A cool balm.

I smiled. I loved him.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her strike.

With the remaining strength I had, I rolled with M. My hand reaching for his ankle holster.

Kate’s eyes met mine, her expression being of rage and shock. I raised the gun and pulled the trigger.

The bullets hit Kate square in the chest, she fell back dead the knife dropping from her hands.

M cradled me in his arms, and I felt his mouth brush mine as my breath rattled in my lungs.

“I’m so tired” I rasped “so tired”

-my dream. The words “pain is nothing! Pain is inconsequential!” Kept rattling in my head afterwards! 👍😄💕