Best friends were supposed to have your back, not stab you in it. or so the saying went.

I was finding it difficult to breathe. Hurt anger the conflicting emotions were crushing my inability to think coherently.

Adam and MJ’s affair had blindsided me. Truth was I hadn’t seen signs and the collateral damage to my marriage and children were devastating.

“Mother!” My daughter’s shrill voice interrupted my reverie. “I can’t believe he would bring that whore to my engagement party!”

I blinked and shifted my gaze to my daughter Astrid. Her fiancé Ash attempted to calm her.

“Don’t ssh me!” Astrid shrugged off his hands and glared at me. “Do something mother! That slut will ruin everything!”

I sighed, “don’t use that language, Astrid” I sipped my champagne. I stood and smiled at her and Ash “Just enjoy yourselves.”

I took another sip of my champagne for fortitude and made my way towards Adam.

I could hear the whispering, the pointed curious stares from guests. My stomach pitched dangerously.

I clenched my fingers into fists. I was not going to allow my humiliation ruin my daughter’s night.

MJ clung to my ex husband as if she were a climbing ivy. Her expression was of cool indifference. As if laying waste to her best friend’s marriage wasn’t much of an undertaking. A bloody coup d’état that was in-her favor.

Our eyes met.

she coiled her body into Adam’s. A seductive pose I had seen her use on plenty unsuspecting men.

I watched with somewhat satisfaction as Adam coolly detached her from himself and continued his conversation with Astrid’s soon to be in-laws.

MJ’s perfect features scrunched up into scowl and she tilted her head back to whisper in his ear.

His gaze searched the room for me and he smiled. “Becky” he stepped away from MJ towards me. “My god you look lovely”

I tried not to let his praise do things to my insides. I allowed him to kiss my cheek. “Thank you, Adam” I smooth my hand over his lapel “you look wonderful”

He did. The dark strands of hair was peppered with grey, was longer and touched his collar. He was getting more sun now that he wasn’t in the office as much.

“I was just telling Ash’s parents that they should come to our Hampton home this summer” Adam smiled “what do you say, Lewis? Maggie?”

Maggie tried to smile as she glanced at me then MJ.

I chuckled “don’t put them on the spot like that, Adam” I gestured Maggie to sit at a nearby table. “Of course you’re welcome to come to the Hampton House. It’s lovely in August.”

Adam hurried to seat Maggie, smiling at me as he guided me to a chair. Once we were all seated, MJ included, Adam took a chair next to me.

Adam placed his hand on my back as he conversed with the in-laws. He smiled at me “I have to give Becky credit. She raised our children. Put my head straight whenever I needed it. Now my daughter is getting married? How can I be so lucky?”

“Oh Adam!” MJ cooed “what wonderful kind words to say about your ex wife!”

Adam grimaced.

“I just love how Adam is so thoughtful and loving” MJ went on “why, just last night he made me a romantic dinner and he proposed!”

Silence fell over the table.

Maggie and Lewis were horrified as MJ held up her hand to show off her ring.

I could barely breathe as my skin grew hot from the overwhelming bombardment of emotions.

Was that the ring I threw back at him?!

Suddenly the silence was broken by a cacophony of noise.

“Dad! Tell me that it isn’t true!” Astrid exclaimed.

Adam lurched from the table. “Astrid, it’s not” he tried to assure her. He turned to me. “Becky I swear I wouldn’t have asked her to marry me!”

I knew without question Adam wasn’t lying. He never lied in our marriage, He never even lied about his affair. The sudden panic despair in his eyes confused me.

“Tell me you wouldn’t stoop so low as to steal my wedding ring!” I growled. My gaze shifting to MJ.

“You mean my ring!”

“You know I never noticed it before,” Adam spoke quietly “you always had to have whatever Becky had. You copied her style, her mannerisms.”

MJ was incredulous, “Me? copy her?! Are you kidding?! I don’t take style tips from a frumpy house wife who has no friends!”

“Stop it! You’re ruining everything!” Astrid cried.

MJ shoved Astrid aside. I caught my daughter and tried to console her.

“Becky your marriage was nothing if I stole your man, I fucked him in your bed, I did things you wouldn’t do! I stole your ring. He is mine” MJ hissed.

There was something in MJ’s eyes. Something that made me snap. Did she really believe I was beneath her?

“Don’t you ever look at me like that or I will kill you.” I screamed “Don’t you ever!” My hand connected with MJ’s face. Her head snapped to the side from the blow. She staggered backwards and fell.,


I’ve seen the way you’re staring at me when you think I’m not watching you. Tell me, what nasty fantasies do you hide in that pretty little head of yours?” Park Joong-Gil purred. His mouth hovered over my ear, his body crowding me against the wall.

I should have been afraid. The darkness emanating off him should have chilled me to the bones. Was he trying to intimidate me?

I fixed my expression into one of boredom. “I don’t think you would like to play with me, Joongi” I drawled. “I don’t think you can handle me” I pushed at his chest. It was impossible to move him. I pushed harder then slid under his reach to step past him.

“My name is Park Joong -Gil” he corrected. He seized my arm, hauling me around until I was pressed against him. “And I assure you whatever games you like to play, you will find I don’t tolerate cock teasing, unlike those boys you like to toy with”

My eyebrow rose. Well, this was unexpected. Was he angry or was he jealous? He was cold efficient. How much would it take for him to burn into ash? The thought did delicious things to my insides.

“Boy toys?” I pondered, “is that what they are called? This conversation is boring me” it was a lie. There was nothing boring about Park Joong Gil. He was lethal, he killed without remorse. his body lean and muscled from countless battles. Indeed the Grim Reaper was beautifully sinful in death, but would he be sinfully orgasmic in bed?

I wanted to ignore the way my body was reacting to him. How the heat of his body seemed at odds with the chilling aura resonating off him. Warming my skin, creating chaos between my thighs. I was becoming wet by being near him. This wouldn’t do. Not at all!

“Your mouth says you’re bored but your body says otherwise” Park Joong Gil crooned.

Without warning, Park Joong Gil slid a hand in my hair, wrapping his fingers in the strands. I let out a startled cry. Holding me still, he lowered his head til his mouth hovered over mine. “You are used to calling the shots,” his lips brushed once against mine. “Taking what you want, with no regard to your partner or any emotional attachments.”

As he spoke, Park Joong Gil’s mouth traveled along my jaw. Nuzzling my throat. My pulse quickened. “I’m going to enjoy teaching you to submit to me.”

The idea of Park Joong- Gil touching me, dominating no scratch that! taking possession of me was an exhilarating thought!

My nipples ached to be touched, my clit begged for attention as his fingers followed where his lips tasted.

The hand in my hair anchoring me in place.

I struggled to keep my thoughts from scattering, to keep myself in control as he played havoc on my senses. His mouth found my nipple through my shirt.

I let out a gasp as he nipped it. The pleasure/pain was intoxicating.

My free hand crept into his hair. I felt him smile in male satisfaction against my breast. I yanked hard, hauling his face up to mine. The confusion, anger in his eyes coincided with lust. “It’s cute you think you can take me on” I whispered.

A feral grin flashed across Park Joong Gil’s face.

Energy cascaded around us like a waterfall. Darkness swallowing us both until I found myself no longer in Park Joong Gil’s arms but in a bed.

A huge bed.

An amber glow casted eerie shadows over the walls allowing me little sight beyond the bed.

Where was he? Did he just teleport me to his bed?

Satin and silk slithering up my arms and legs startled me. I jerked to free myself but it was impossible.

I was tied to either side of the bed.

Soft laughter came from the darkness. “I thought you might like the unpredictability” Park Joong Gil emerged from the shadows, shedding the last of his clothes.

My eyes widened, then raked over his body in appreciation. “Oh I assumed this is where I was going to be. How I was,” I glanced up at my restraints, “ending up? It’s sadly disappointing” I sighed in boredom, “really? Joongi! This is amateur hour”

Anger flashed in Park Joong -Gil’s eyes. “Amateur?” he echoed in disbelief. “how many times have you been tied up?”

I smirked, “Don’t ask if you dont want the number,”

“But they weren’t me.” he smiled impishly. “and you haven’t tasted what I can give you!”

~The Dark Side of me has awakened!


Nbc GIF by Good Girls - Find & Share on GIPHY

When he find’s my indifference to his flirting amusing.

I did not need to see him to know he was out there.

Watching me.

My skin grew uncomfortably warm at the thought of him.

It was ridiculous really, the idea that in a sea of strangers, one man could completely unsettle me.

Perhaps it was out of curiosity I casually allowed my gaze to peruse the crowd in search of him.

He wasn’t hard to find. With many attending the convention, it was ridiculous to picture this man in service industry. He appeared to be the kind of man who buried people rather than give them a smile for free.

Denim stretched across broad shoulders the sleeves rolled up over his forearms as they crossed over his chest. Tattoos were inked over his dark skin. He wore his khakis tight, the material hugging his junk snug.


His lips kicked up and I realized he caught me gazing at his cock.

My face grew hot and I turned back to my presentation. Was i turning red like a schoolgirl? Tucking a piece of hair behind my ear as I demonstrated the new taste of the month

I could feel his eyes on me, following every move I made. His gaze dropping to my lips as I spoke. Then lower to the white standard blouse that suddenly felt too small. My nipples hardened.

He licked his lips.

Fuck me.

I stumbled over my words, and a smile broke across his face. To my disbelief, he mouthed “anytime.”

I was speechless. I gripped the microphone, unable to find the words let alone remember the rest of the presentation.

Was this guy for real? Was he flirting with me while I was in front of hundreds of people?!

Embarrassment turned to anger. Glaring daggers at him, I ended the presentation. I marched off stage shoving the microphone at the sound technician.

I barely got passed the stage when he was there. Cutting me off. I took a step back.

“Why have you been following me?!” I clapped a hand over my mouth. Did I really say that.

“Following you?” He echoed. He tilted his head to contemplate his answer. He scratched the back of his neck “you intrigued me”

I was astounded. I burst out laughing. “Me? Intrigued you?”

The mischievousness fled and in its place something awakened. His eyes darkened, “yes, you did” he murmured “and I can’t wait to prove to you how”

“I don’t even know your name”

“It’s Cecil”

During the week long convention I found myself being Cecil’s prey. Every time I would attempt to avoid him he was there.

“Every inch of you is the most incredible thing that God ever created.” He all but purred in my ear.

Cecil cornered me in one of the displays. His body crowding me into the counter. “I love how your skin turns so red whenever I compliment you,” he stroked my cheek. “I must admit I like flustering you, especially since you deserve to be told how gorgeous you are.”

-an excerpt from a dream


I can’t believe my cat lady years are well on its way!

I have two cats.

I’m single. Old. Now I just need a nice comfy chair to sit with both cats🥰🥰

Someone commented the other day on why I wasn’t married.

Annie replied “she doesn’t like men” then went onto say “she doesn’t like women either”

I burst out laughing “so true. I’m sexually ambiguous. But I don’t want the drama”

“why you don’t have children?”

I glared at them. “I have 2. I have two children”

“But cats aren’t children!”

What did you say to me?

That conversation ended quickly.

I don’t understand why people find it hard to accept that others don’t want children. In my case, I didn’t want children and now I can’t.

I’m not emotionally equipped to deal with a child. So I chose cats instead.

Anyway, my niece turned 16 last week.

She was afraid I would forget. I didn’t. That’s because I can’t believe she was turning 16!

Then she told me she got a job and a boyfriend.

My jaw hit the floor. I was never so proud of my niece in that moment. Becoming motivated to get a job! Then I realized she said boyfriend!


Oh my word, what is happening?!

Oh well why was I surprised? She had numerous girlfriends. And started to date a boy before she moved.

But he has a car.

Nope. My auntie heart can’t take it. Can’t cope with the idea my baby niece is growing up so much!


I want the world.

Begging on their knees.

Obeying my every whim.

I want the world.

Satiating my every need and desire


What!! This explains everything! I have no uterus! That explains why a man could never get me to orgasm!

Holy fudge! I never heard such ignorance in my life!

Boy, this guy needs a sex education stat! Clearly the boy doesn’t know about the clit and other erogenous zones🤦‍♀️


Aw Joey! 🥰🥰🥰 But you threw me in the elephant cage!


Well that was hot!🥵

I’m glad i was in the bath!


Happy Valentine’s Day!

This Valentine’s Day I enjoyed long, romantic walks to the fridge. I have no Valentines date! Anyway, it’s okay, food is love, food is life.

Sometimes I miss having someone to spend time with. Having romantic conversations and sharing my dreams with but now I am like meh!

I’m not even attracted to anyone.

My Valentine’s was fine.

No drama. I didn’t even fight a customer!

It was a wonderful day.

However nothing is more irksome than a customer trying to champion the Freedom Convoy. “I will have 3 Justin Trudeau meals!”

Huh? “We don’t do that here. Order properly or you can leave!”

Who the heck even started that?!

My favourite was when a customer ordered “land sea and air burger!” I laughed so hard.

“Oh yeah sure!” I replied “you have to make it yourself!”

“What?!” He exclaimed “I saw it advertised!”

“It’s advertised as a hack. We don’t do hacks. It’s also advertised that you have to make it yourself” I managed.

Ugh gross chicken beef and fish all on the same sandwich!

I had a good day!

Now if only I had some chocolate 🥰🥰


For the first time in awhile I had a lucid dream!

It was a funny dream!

“A Detective in the Major Crimes unit whom is often compared to the tv detective Columbo bumbled through another case” The Chief of Detectives scowled at me as he looked up from reading from the latest newspaper article “Her brash, maddening tactics are tiresome quotes a coworker. she is psychotic, a loose cannon and can’t be trusted to tie her own shoe lace?! Says another.” The chief’s voice rose with growing ire. “She is one french fry short of a happy meal and yet solved a case with a keen sense of observation rare in modern day investigation.”

The chief crumpled up the newspaper and threw it. “Are you laughing?! This is a joke to you?!” He shouted. “We are the laughing stock out of the whole precinct!”

He glanced at the other man in the room “and you were supposed to keep an eye on her!” He barked.

The man shrugged “can’t rein in chaos!”

Ah it was a good dream.

I had this kind of energy

People had no chance! 😂😂

I made Columbo look good!

On the bright side I was brilliant! Mind like Sherlock!

As for the man who was supposed to be my Watson? The man had a voice like Corpse Husband (a TikToker)

The lucid dream came in when I was on the back of his motorcycle. I am deathly afraid to ride one. I had my arms tightly wound around him. I suppose I was tired and had fallen asleep. My grip loosened to the point one hand drifted down. I was dreaming of him and I.

He was trying to maintain his focus on the road and ignore me. Ignore my hand that was on his junk. “Are you kidding me right now?” He exploded “wake up!”

I was Rubbing my face against his back, nestling closer.

We lurched to a stop!

I opened my eyes to find my hand was in his pants stroking his cock. He was so hot. Hard. Throbbing.

I was so mortified.

he reached for my hand untucked it from his pants.“You want to play these games save it for the bedroom!” He gritted out “I have no intentions on becoming road kill because you have no impulse control or you have some kind of kink!”

And then my cat woke me up!