“Becky look its Johnny!” the kitchen crew teased. “Dont you want to say hello?”

Sure. I began to serenade him.

“oh Johnny how do you call your Lover Girl?”

“Come here lover girl”

“and if she doesnt answer?”

“baby ooh my sweet baby you are the one”

he was turning so red

“and then he did this to me!” I made the sign of a heart, broke it threw it to the floor and then stamped on it with my foot.

The kitchen began to laugh. “you still love him.”

“Of course I do. He is my Johnny!”

Devy sighed. “Oh you know I will have to call Johnny’s wife!”

I whirled around to face her. “No!” I cried. “She will kill me!”


“You don’t know yourself and that is what is scary” he murmured. “I watched you blossom from a young girl into a woman who doesn’t know her own worth.” he frowned as if he was second-guessing his own musings. “I am watching you go through your life without purpose, without aim. Hoping someone will find you, fix your mistakes and guide you. An arrow through the universe finding its mark. It makes me angry because I know you have such passion such desire to empower and inspire others.”

Her silence was infuriating. “Guess what? Life isn’t like the stories you read. Or write. A hero isn’t going to appear out of nowhere and save you..”

Without warning, she launched herself at him. Nearly barrelling him over before he caught her in his arms. Straddled in his lap, she wrapped her arm tight around his neck, pulling his head down to kiss him. the brush of her lips against his startled him. wariness shivered along his shoulders down his back, however, the sensations that shot through him was anything but.

Her lips moved against his, a tantalizing play. He let her tease him, the taste of her imprinting on his senses. His fingers smoothed over her arms, noting the softness of her skin the warmth seeping into his fingertips as he moved up over her shoulders the fragile line of her collarbone. He thumbed her throat feeling her pulse hum with her excitement.

“Are you trying to seduce me?” he breathed over her lips.

She snorted. “You talk too much.”

He laughed.

“You make me feel vulnerable” she whispered. “You make my heart beat so fast I feel like dying. You make feel how inadequate I am, I have been so alone for so long that I don’t know how to be with you.”

Her eyelashes were wet with unshed tears, her face pale. the stark pain in her voice churned his stomach.

his forehead touched hers. “I had no idea.” he whispered.

“Yeah well, speaking is not my forte”

He kissed her brow, her eyes her cheek finally her mouth. “I guess I didnt make it easier by pointing out your lack of ambition!”

She smacked his chest. He winced. Rubbing the stinging pain away, he brought her hand to his mouth and kissed her fingers. “We are total opposites.” he pointed out. “are you sure we meant to be?”

She glared at him. “of course!”

Then Stop being such a dork.” he whispered. He cradled her close. “and love me. I dont want to be alone without you.”

She bit her lower lip. “If I must.”

His eyebrow lifted. In spite of himself, he began to laugh. “You are such a brat!” he kissed her.

She smiled. “Its what you love about me.”

He groaned. “Get out of here! There is no guarantee what I will do to you!”

She giggled and wiggled out of his lap. “Promises. Promises.”

“Go on! Get!” he smacked her ass. “You’re bothering me!”



“Arent you too old for Call of Duty?” she pouted. She had one of the blankets wrapped around her. She nudged him with her foot. She was curled up beside him, while he was playing his PS4.

“No,” he answered coolly. “I play to relax.”

There was silence. “I read books. I blog.”

“Yes I know.”  He turned his head slowly, his electric blue eyes fixing her with an all knowing stare that had her skin warming in awareness. ” I read your blog”

He smirked at her blush and turned back to his game. “I enjoy reading your posts. The erotica is” he paused. “interesting.”

She buried her face in her blanket, muttering something under her breath.

“what was that?”


She wiggled around so she was closer. Her foot resting high on his thigh.

His fingers stilled on the controller and then tightened. His gaze shifting from the flatscreen tv to where her toes wiggled dangerously close to his groin “What are you doing, Becky?”  the words were quiet.

She shrugged. “Making conversation.”

“Really? Is that why your foot is in my crotch trying to play nice with my cock!” he grasped her ankle and plucked her foot off him.

“What?” her innocent outrage was almost as humorous as her denial. “I was stretching! I had a foot cramp!”

“Foot cramp?” he snorted.

“I am inadequate at seducution!” Becky went on, “to even suggest that I would try to seduce you!” she made an attempt laughter. “well its ridiculous.”

The muscles in his back were taut, his arms rigid with tension. Slowly he lowered the controller and twisted in his seat to face her. “Ridiculous?” he echoed. “You know what is ridiculous is reading the smut you write and knowing the truth. You havent had many lovers, Becky. Havent any at all. You know how I know?” he was being cruel, perhaps ruthless but he needed to say it. She was treading on dangerous ground. There was a fine line between a flirt and a cocktease.  “because every time I come near you, you act like a shy schoolgirl. You barely have the self-confidence to say hello to me. Or look me in the eye.”

Becky tried to swallow back a lump of hurt in her throat. “Ok so I cant seduce you with my awkwardness”  still clutching her blanket, she curled her fingers into little fists and mimicked kittens paws. “Am I not cute”

He stared blankly at her, bewildered by where the conversation was going.  he should be angry with her but he couldnt not when she was making her pouty face. Her lips puckered, her cheeks puffed out. Like a chubby cat. He roared with laughter.

“Is that face supposed to be your best Aegyo?” he wheezed. He reached for her, hauling her onto his lap.

“yes” Becky settled into him. Her knees on either side of his hips.

“Are you done with your teasing?” he asked roughly.

“are you done being mean and ignoring me.” Becky countered. She let the blanket fall. She was in nothing but her cami and panties.

“what the fuck!” he muttered.

“oops.” Becky bit her lip, but there was no apology in her eyes. Just a mischievous glint

He glanced over his shoulder to the kitchen, “You know my wife is in the kitchen with my mother…”

Becky wound her arms tight around his neck. “I promise to be quiet.” she nuzzled his throat.

“I miss you” he whispered in her ear “i miss seeing you, being with you tasting you” he kissed her.

He tasted better than she remembered. Coffee chocolate eggs, she delighted in the way his mouth took possession of hers. He was right she hadnt many lovers, because she was always wanting him. He could satiate her every hunger. need.

His mouth moved. Over her jaw. The sizzling heat of his tongue rasping over her pulse made her weak. His hands were under her cami stroking her breasts.

“oh my..” she whimpered.

”ssh be quiet,” he warned.

Becky bit her lip as he continued to play with her nipples. His palm cupped one as his head lowered to suck her nipple into his mouth.

The heat of his breath and the velvet rough texture of his tongue made her wetter.

“Please” Becky whispered.

“shh soon” his hand slid up between her thighs, easing the fabric of her panties aside. “You are so wet. So wet for me,” he crooned. He arranged her so she was sitting forward facing the tv.

Becky could feel his fingers underneath her, unzipping his jeans. Her heartbeat was racing, her blood roaring in her ears. Then he was there. The broadhead of his cock, easing past the slick folds of her pussy, parting them. Teasing the entrance of her hole, before pushing.

As if sensing she was about to scream, he clamped a hand over her mouth, as his cock stretched her, pushing past her clenching muscles. “Fuck baby, I love how you are so tight and wet.” he whispered in her ear. “Take it. oh fuck. Take it deep!” his other hand on her waist, he pulled her down. “You got it all. You got all of my cock inside you.”

Becky whimpered against his hand. The slow rocking motion of his hips drove his cock hard, and deeper.

“Hey babe,” his wife’s voice startled them both. “Where did you say we are vacationing again this summer?”

He slowly withdrew his hand from Becky’s mouth. He gave her the controller and arranged the blanket so it covered them both. “California.”

“Oh. What are you two doing?” she asked.

“I am trying to teach her how to play this game, but like a sore loser she is, she is sucking really bad!” he laughed.

Becky clenched her muscles around his cock. He grimaced.

“I don’t like first-person shooter games” Becky agreed. “When I had SNES I couldn’t pass Mario Bros to save my life!” as she spoke she clenched her pussy muscles.

His  wife laughed. “Ugh I cant play games either. But it helps him relax who am I to judge.”

His wife walked back into the kitchen, still laughing.

Without warning, he withdrew his hips and slammed upwards. The hard thrust drove him deep inside Becky, causing her to cry out. He brought her mouth to his to silence her, as he fucked her hard and deep. Her cum dripping down his cock, balls soaking his jeans.

He didnt use protection, the thought came to mind absently as he pumped her full of his cum. He groaned as he eased her off him, the sight of his cum dripping from her pussy, made him grin. “hmm you never mentioned a cream pie in any of your posts.”

She stretched, and glanced over at him. “your jeans are a mess.” she giggled.

“Did you hear what I said?”

“yeah. ” she leaned over to kiss him. “cream pies are for porn. I write erotica not porn.”

He burst out laughing.








I had a dream early this morning that had me thinking about it all day.

We dream about people know or have seen. We dream about our past lives.

I wonder if we dream about our past lives, and our true love from that past life but dont realize it?

The dream was about a relative being married. It was an arranged marriage between the colony of Mennonites that my relatives grew up in, and the Russian Mennonites. (Immigrates)

My niece was supposed to be part of the wedding. However, she resented how traditional it was. How she had to be so polite, courteous etc. She couldnt understand the Plautedeutsch, High German, Russian, German being spoken among everybody. She was being very rebellious.

The wedding colors were red and black. (ironically the wedding colors I want)

The women of the church, brides family, grooms family were all in attendance to have a little welcoming party for the bride when my niece brought her girlfriend. My mother was not too happy about it. Especially since the girlfriend was dressed like a goth lolita. Her hair was dark black with an undercut. The rest of the women were so scandalized they insisted that my niece and her girlfriend leave. Oh my niece left, but not before kissing her girlfriend. A long slow french kiss.

The girlfriend realized my niece was using her to get back at my mom and sister, and fled the church crying


I was so angry by my niece’s behavior that I hauled her outside, “If you don’t start behaving, you will be excommunicated. Do you understand what that means? That means you will never see your mother, grandmother, grandfather or me again. Ever! You will be alone!”

“I rather be alone than be with these hypocrites!” my niece cried. “You dont even accept me!”

“I do accept you, but you’re ruining your cousin’s wedding by being selfish!”

“I hate you auntie!” she ran off.

I started to cry.

I went for a walk, crying in search of something. someone (I realized later who that was)

The wedding started, and my niece returned to the church. I had taken a seat behind the groom’s family. I was still so hurt and upset by her words, and she was making a scene about being part of the wedding party.

“You will sit down by your aunt right now!” a male voice snapped. I looked up to find the groom’s brother in law dragging my niece down the aisle, pushing her between the rows of seats til she was beside me. “You will keep your mouth shut. You will be seen and not heard. You want to act like a child we will treat you like one!”

He had blonde hair. Very good looking (looked like Twan and one of my customers Emil)

He moved to the seat on the other side of me, he sat down. His arm around me. He was so furious he was speaking to me in Russian.

“You cant treat me like this.” my niece pouted.

He leaned over and hissed. “I will take you outside and beat you with my belt if you dont shut up!”

I buried my face in his chest, finding comfort. “You ok” he asked.

We spoke in Russian, and in that moment I never felt a sense of peace or love as I did then. It was wonderful.

Then I had to wake up.

I dont know Russian.

However in some of my dreams I spoke fluent Chinese, French and now Russian. Hmm.



The best kind of relationships are the kind: that when its over you can still be still civil or friends ♥♥♥

One of my exes came in the other day. We still laugh and talk.

I still remember how we met. On the bus. We were both going to work. He was working at a car dealership. My hair was a mess. I was always falling asleep. After work. Before work. Same bus. He finally asked me to go out for coffee (email) but I was so freaked out. I said no. He tried again. So we dated for a few months. Casual.



How was everyone’s Valentines?

i was alone as usual!

One of my coworkers received 24 red roses from her husband. It was from Johnny!

My eyes popped out!!!

Really, Johnny how dare you! 😂

”oh Rebecca did you see all the roses Johnny gave his wife!” Edgar teased me.

”you know he misprinted the name! It’s supposed to be Rebecca!” I pouted.

sometime later the girls are teasing me “oh Becky, Johnny gave you such beautiful roses!”

i wish! 💕💕


Only one

I was rubbing my clit, imagining M finger fucking me deep and hard, edging me over and over before finally letting me cum. 

He whispers in my ear “i told you I will fucking punish you if you don’t stop teasing other men and women with your sexy little stories. I get on your blog last night and you write about going down on a woman?!” His words excite me so much. He kisses me. Then kisses his way down my body. ” I’ll be the only one to taste you and fuck you. This pussy is mine. Only mine!” 

I am anticipating his mouth, his tongue on my clit but he lifts his head to smile at me. “I don’t think so, Becky” he chides me.  “Open your legs, I wanna see how good your pussy looks getting stretched out by my cock”

I obey. I am so wet I can feel my pussy juice dripping down my thighs. M strokes the length of his cock, teasing my clit with just the head. 

“Please” I beg.

M thrusts hard, pinning me down. His cock driving deep, forcing another orgasm from me.

-I got so horny again I have to go and play with myself now💕💕

warm and fuzzy all over

I had a dream about you.

Everybody was at the ranch. There was food. Laughter.

You sat across from me, watching me eat. (my pet peeve!!!)

“Why do you keep staring at me!” I cried. “Do I have something on my face?”

You smiled, finished chewing your food and leaned over to kiss my cheek.

“No I just miss you!”


I kept thinking about that dream! Its funny how the simplest things can make someone warm and happy inside! Even if it was just a dream!

Makes me wonder if he had a dream about me at the same time! ♥♥♥



I couldn’t sleep. I still had the taste of Mason lips on my mouth. I wondered how his skin would taste. How his body would react if I kissed my way down it. Would he moan my name? Would he arch into me. Begging for me. If I sucked his cock, would he tangle his fingers in my hair, and face fuck me.
I was getting wet thinking about it. I slid my hand down my body between my legs. I was wet. My fingers stroked my pussy lips, as I thought about Mason
I didn’t hear a knock on the door nor the door open, as I fingered my clit. Stroking.
“Jesus Christ!” the expletive startled me. I opened my eyes to find Mason watching me. My eyes grew wide. My cheeks were pink. From embarrassment, I didn’t know.
I didn’t bother to cover myself. I let my fingers still.
“I was just thinking of that kiss” I admitted.
” that wasn’t supposed to happen” he muttered His eyes couldn’t look away from my fingers. I moved them a little so he could see my pussy. See how wet I was.
“I got so wet,: I whispered. “At the thought of you”
Mason groaned “Becky, you are killing me here.”
“I was thinking of how you would taste. Your cock in my mouth. face fucking me.”
At any other moment, I would be curled up dying from mortification for being so honest. However the fiery depths of his blue eyes made me come alive. My breasts were aching for him to touch me, my nipples hard. My pussy juice dripped over my fingers as I slowly eased them back and forth along my slit.
“I have never wanted anyone more than I want you,” I whispered. I hated the ache in my voice, it made me sound desperate.
Mason took a step toward the bed, then kicked the door closed behind him. “You are a relentless woman,” he mused as if to himself. “Maybe I should sate myself in you. But I don’t think it would be enough. One night won’t be enough for you. For me.” He took another step towards the bed. He stripped himself of his sweater, his jeans next.
I sighed appreciatively when he was finally naked before me.

“Let’s be honest here, Becky” his voice was hoarse. “I thought I knew the little girl who grew into a woman.You fucked me up when I started reading your blog. reading your fantasies, your desires, your heartbreaking confessions.”
He was now on the bed, he gripped me by the thighs yanking me to him. “The truth is I never knew you at all” he went on huskily.
I pressed my fingers against his mouth to silence him. I gasped when his tongue darted out to swirl lick and suck my pussy juice off them. “By the time I am finished, I will know every part of you and your body will be mine,” he promised.
My heart pounded with excitement, my stomach fluttering with his directness. He pushed me back, his mouth on mine. His hands were on my body, caressing my skin. “God, I remember when you were a teenager.” he breathed as his mouth followed his fingers. “You were wearing no bra. It took all I had not to fuck you then.”
I arched into his mouth. “I wanted you to then”
He scowled. “You were a kid, you didn’t know what you wanted.” his teeth razed over my nipples. I moaned in delight.
“If I was finger fucking myself then I sure as hell knew what I wanted.” I moaned.
He groaned, “oh my god, you are so damn sexy”
His mouth lowered. “I am going to eat you out. Let me get between your legs. And make you cum with my tongue” he breathed.
The first touch of his tongue on my clit made me gasp. My fingers curled into his hair. His eyes never left mine, as his tongue lapped and flicked. Alternately between fast and slow. He took his time, bringing me to the edge then easing off.
“Please. Please” I begged. “I am so close.”
Mason teased my folds, as he pushed a finger deep inside me. Stretching me. “Fuck baby, you are so tight.” he breathed. “So wet.”
He sucked on my clit, as his fingers began to pick up speed, then as I began to feel the quivers of my orgasm. he slowed down. I whimpered in frustration. “Mason please!”
He chuckled, the sound rumbling against my clit. His mouth opened and clamped hard on my clit. I shrieked as he sucked hard, while his fingers drove hard and fast deep inside me. I came, twisting against his face. Grinding against him, against his tongue and mouth, as he lapped up my pussy juice.
Mason finally let me sink back down to the bed. Grinning he kissed my inner thigh. “Did you enjoy that?”
I could barely speak. I nodded, the tiny quivers of orgasm still going through me.
“Rest up. Because we have all night.” he promised.

Fuck me! I am so horny right now!


There was something about the way she was holding his youngest son that made his heart twist in his chest. Her expression so pure so loving. She would make a remarkable mother, the thought hit him, even though she made it perfectly clear on numerous occasions she had no inclination to have children.
Which is why he found their arrangement perfect. He was married, he had enormous responsibilities. On the occasions he did mention his wife and children, she would listen intently. He cared her for so deeply, and the sex was incredible. She never pressured him for anything more. Money was unimportant to her, even though he spoiled her.
An idea so foreign to him that he didn’t allow it to come to fruition, came to mind. What if Becky was carrying his child, Mason almost choked on his drink. The alcohol stinging the back of his throat. He stared at her, dumbfounded by what his mind was forcing him to ponder. It was ludicrous! Did he even want her to have his baby?
Her hair fell over her face, veiling her features. His son reached out with chubby fingers and grabbed the strands. He tugged. Becky let out a delighted laugh, the glow on her face kicked him hard in the chest, leaving him breathless. She spoke to the baby in another language, and the baby cooed.
Mason wanted to reach out and smooth the strands of Becky’s hair There was nothing remarkable about her looks, she could easily get lost in the background but there was something about her that always drew his focus to her.
Maybe it was the way she would laugh, even though she was sad. Or the way her eyes would crack fire when she was angry. His lips kicked at the corner with amusement when he realized she caught him staring at her. Again. She was avoiding his gaze with the shyness of a school girl.
“Its rude to stare!” she scolded him.
“Who me? Look at you, holding my son. It is so natural.” he teased.
She scowled. “Babies are cute, its when they grow and become the bane of society”
Mason roared with laughter, he pushed himself off the doorframe. He strode into the nursery. “You have such high expectations of my son,” he plucked the baby out of her arms. “Did you hear what the mean lady said?” he cooed to his son, “she said you were going to be the bane of society. You will prove her wrong, right?”
His son gurgled a response and Mason grinned. “See, takes after his old man!”
“Yeah you are old,” Becky chuckled.
Mason gasped. “Hitting me below the belt.” he tucked his son into his crib and turned to Becky. “were you saying something to my son earlier?”
Becky shrugged, “You are so Englisch.” she sighed. “It’s Plautsdeutch. Slang german. I was telling your boy I love you.”
Mason’s throat tightened with unexpected emotion. He pulled her close, “Watching you with him,” he began, “I had a crazy thought.”
Becky kissed his throat, “What kind of crazy thoughts.”
“We didn’t use protection most of the time,” Mason murmured. “Is it possible you could be pregnant?”
her skin was turning pink, from embarrassment or anger he couldn’t really tell. But he enjoyed how she would react to him. Her words would fumble over her tongue. She would become so flustered, her heartbeat would flutter at her neck like a butterfly’s wing.
“What?” Becky sputtered, “pregnant? Don’t be ridiculous.”
“Is it so ridiculous?” he let his fingers brush against her cheek, stroking her jaw down her throat. He loved the silkiness of her skin, the soft scent of her lingered in his senses, even when she wasn’t close.
She made a huffing sound but didn’t move. “Yes, it is. I told you I don’t want any children,” she whispered.
mason was silent for a moment, “But what if,”
“There is no ‘what if’ Mason!” she snapped. “I am not pregnant. If you want another child, you have your wife. But I don’t want your child. I don’t want any children!”
Hurt seared through him, leaving Mason unexpectedly breathless. “Ok, I was just thinking out loud.” he kissed the top of her head.
She nuzzled her face into his throat. “I am sorry if I hurt you, but the thought of having children scares me.”
He smiled. “Why?”
She shrugged, “I am going to be like Captain Von Trapp from the Sound of Music. Militant, discipline and unyielding with my kids.”
Mason chuckled. “And loving,” he added.
“Well, lets continue this conversation over food. I might be able to convince you to have my baby if I feed you” he took her hand.

-a thought I had.