MEDITATION. ORACLE CARDS. AND THE FACT IM SCREWED!

Interesting fact. If you fold your hands together, the position is natural of course, the thumb that rests on top indicates that is your energy hand. Which in my case would be my left. I am right handed. odd. I normally feel energy with my right. but then again i feel it with my left, not as strong. its there.

sometimes i feel a tingling sensation or a throbbing then almost like a magnet is nearby, my hand is drawn to the object. my hand burns if there is quite a bit of pyschic energy. Its an awesome feeling.

I was going to see if i could sense energy in my home, but i was chicken. I dont want to know, i want to think i am crazy rather than acknowledge there might be a spirit of a teenager haunting me. Who knows. i dont want to know. i am chicken shit.

After my meditation this afternoon,I decided to do a reading on myself. I had been feeling a lot of negative energy around me.

perhaps this what Serena predicted in her reading of me.   “That i will soon be in a depressive state to the point where i will be thinking of suicide”

suicide? i hardly doubt it! that was a moment of utter weakness! one i will never ever have again! suicide is for weak people! i am not weak! i will never succumb to my dark thoughts like that ever!

Back to my reading, i had asked if my relationship would grow stronger. I laid the cards out in a fan. i took a deep breath and ran my hand above each card. It took a few moments, but soon i felt it. The warm familar tug on my hand. My hand was guided down. I picked the card.

BRIGIT: DONT BACK DOWN! be assertive trust your instincts will work out fine. dont worry what others think. speak my truth.

interesting. speak my truth. I speak my truth and everytime i do, he runs away. then comes back. i am assertive he runs away and comes back. I shouldnt worry about what others think. easier said than done.

my second question was about healing myself. How do i heal myself? how do i get rid of this distrust, the anger and how most of all how do i love myself enough to be able to love others? I have major trust issues. I cant allow myself to break down the walls, only with Chad did i. but even when i did, it came with a great cost.

I have this image in my head, of myself as a toxic fungus. you touch me, i touch you either way, you become dirty and you become ash in the wind. There is nothing i can do to get rid of that image in my head. I am so uncomfortable around people, i dont want them close but at the same time i do. When i try to speak- have a conversation, i am always waiting for someone to push me away, reject me.

I have been working on that, still i regress when i think i have made progress.

My second reading my hand was drawn to two cards.

APHRODITE: AWAKEN YOUR INNER GODDESS WITHIN YOU THROUGH SELF CARE, DANCE AND APPRECIATING YOUR DIVINTIY. take steps to heal your sexuality, be receptive. in relationships be forward. dont hide your feminity.

SARASVATI: EXPRESS YOURSELF THROUGH CREATIVE ACTIVITIES. join a support group.

I dont know if i joined a support group but Higher Connections is hopefully going to help me.

The three cards i drew today, are the exact same cards i drew when Serena gave me a tarot reading. Ironic.

my favorite word in the english vocabulary. Irony! oh the inhumanity!

SETH ROGEN AS THE GREEN HORNET! REALLY????

OUCH!

Nathan fillion had been touted as the Green Lantern, he was at comic con promoting the Green lantern…ha ha loser. i love Nathan Fillion but the idea of him playing Hal Jordan. come on. He is too old!

I just watched a trailer for the Green Hornet. I just about gagged! Seth Rogen! he is not funny! now he is doing action! When FREAKS n GEEKS ended his career should never continued! What is going on there!

 because someone has a name to flaunt around, the industry thinks the movie would be great. Hello Tom Cruise, Valkry? suck much!  They never think that the movie will bomb. Just because an actor has some credibilty for about 15 minutes too long, doesnt mean he can carry a movie. Seth Rogen, jonah hill, justin long, Blake Lively. Ahem just to name a few.

I dont know what is going on with Hollywood. Now Eva Longoria is being thought about for the AVENGERS movie. Who is she going to play? Wasp? ew! I cant see her doing any kind of stunt. she might break a nail. or mess up her hair.  she can do pyscho!

Are two year olds directing and producing movies? is that why most suck now a days?

CBS- CHANNEL FOR BROADCASTING SHIT!

Image via Wikipedia

I caught a look at a trailer for THE CAPE last night. For a moment i thought I was looking at a trailer for Heroes. Yes! happy Times! until i saw a guy with a mask. Wait a minute since when did peter petrelli wear a mask? No it was a new show about a Super hero. Great.

Thanx asscans for giving me hope that Heroes was once again Resurrected out of the ashes of network stupidity! Ahhh Sylar if you were real you could incinerate the bastards that canceled Heroes!

The Cape! what the hell kind of name is that for a show! why not call it The Turd. its going to stink like one! 

Until i looked it up. Summer Glau and James Frain. (Cameron, Sarah Connor Chronicles) and (Franklin, Trueblood) respectively. How bad can this show be?

This season has had to be the worst for Tv premieres. Most of the new shows have never made it past 3 episodes. The worst debacle being LoneStar. Epic Fail. After one episode, Fox yanked it!

Fox hasnt had the greatest reputation for keeping their shows going. Simpsons, and AMW being the longest running show on their network. Come on who watches that?

This morning i was on my break i happened to catch a re run of Caroline in the City. Eek! Thats almost 15 years ago!  I just glanced at the screen and  i remember that show! must have been the bad hair back then that triggered the memory!

CBS had interesting pilots, IWitness, Centers on a detective/professor who uses her psycho-physiological skills to solve crimes. The Line – An ATF agent who hunts down the most dangerous criminals while trying to balance life as a dad to his teenage daughter who has re-entered his life. and the Criminal Minds spin off with Forest Whittaker. Still waiting for that to happened.

But i still shake my fist at CBS for cancelling Ghost whisperer! Damn you  assholes! what did you replace it with? Medium and Mike & Mollie. Which is a revised Roseanne! come on!

WHO AM I? MELINDA GORDON!

it happened again! i was feeling restless after having a nightmare about a  girl i saw browsing through the Net. I decided to get up ten minutes before my alarm went off. I turned on the light, got off the bed. opened the door. went to go into the hallway. there on the wall, was the ghost.??? shadow of a ghost??? Shadow People? this time it was  just hanging there. I said to myself, “this isnt even funny!”

at the same time too! 6:30!

I wasnt scared this time, i was half expecting it. i am thinking that because i had a nightmare last time too, that it comes when i have them. its been almost a week. i havent seen it since. till this morning.

HELLO KRISTINE!

it has been awhile hasnt it?! i am so glad to hear from you! i sure miss you! I cant believe your a mommy!  I have seen the lovely pictures of your family, kris and i have to say your children are adorable! I do agree with you about Melissa, maybe she needs to live in the Old Colony for awhile! ha ha, the mennonites there will shape her up thats for sure! I would love to come for a visit! I am saving my money, so i can travel around. i cant wait to meet your husband, and grandma will sure love to see you all! i am so happy to hear from you, and that you and your husband are doing so well!
love you!

ANNE HATHAWAY.HARLEY QUINN. INTERESTING

Seriously how many Batman movies is Christopher Nolan going to make? I dont mind Christopher Nolan. I do however mind Christian Bale! Even typing his name makes my eyes bleed. I could type with my eyes shut but then the images of Christian Bale pop up and i would then have to hurl all over my keyboard!

I cant stand Christian Bale. He ruined the whole Batman franchise. well he; Val kilmer, and george clooney. Ultimately Christian Bale. Ugh. Ruined it!  Not to mention the terminator series. Ohhh dont even get me started on that!

Reading an article on which female actresses would be cast as love interest and villian for the batman movie. Come on, in all the series, has there ever been a good love interest? no. the only female villian that rocked was michelle phieffer, and that was hot. and when there was an actual movie on Catwoman, that movie was ruined by casting Halle Berry, and using computer graphics through out the entire movie.

However the idea of casting Anne Hathaway as Harley Quinn would be awesome. Here is an actress who is quirky, funny and can you imagine her being dark and pyschotic? she could be a female jim carrey? Anne Hathaway could probably pull it off. The only problem is, that Harley Quinn was in love with the Joker. Joker was played by the late  Heath Ledger.  What better way to introduce Harley Quinn and send her off the deep end by learning that the Joker had died, supposedly? because no one can ever play the joker the way Ledger did. No one.

Anne Hathaway as Harley Quinn. hmm interesting indeed.

IF ITS KAEYOKO IT WOULD BE COOL. NOT!

I was still shaky when i got to work this morning. I felt like i was going to be sick. Not to mention i was extremely tired. All i kept seeing was that shadow, its profile. Then it was facing me. I was wondering if i was still sleeping? could be some horrible nightmare? my visions? no i was wide awake!

and reliving every moment at  work! argh!

I didnt feel anything off it, i was just extremely frightened, surprised. I awake and that is the first thing i see. I am thinking what if it was something in my room that cast that shadow.

I was a little nervous to go home, got all paranoid. what if i was in the bathroom, looking in the mirror, and i look away for a second and bam something is behind me? like in the horror movies? ooh freaked me right out. Then i got pissed. This is my house, damn it! my sanctuary! i dont have to be frightened in my own home.

I got home, had a shower, still a lingering bit of paranoia. I went to look for what could have made that shadow. Nothing! so hopefully it doesnt happen again. I think i was caught off guard.

i mean i sense things, i dont see them. i havent been working on my shields of late, and i have been really tired. so yeah. maybe it was a fluke.

i dont need to scare myself into a seizure! maybe i will use a pendulum to determine if there is a spirit in my home.

someone asked why didnt i use my spiritboard? WTF!!! i was just scared shitless! dont use a spirit board when your not emotionally grounded! that is dangerous!

got to wonder how mediums do it all the time????

PS. KAEYOKO FROM GRUDGE. AHHHH!

I WAS SO SCARED THIS MORNING!

my heart is pounding so fast! I think I am going to throw up!

I got up 20 minutes ago, to go to the bathroom, and I turned on the light, opened the bedroom and I nearly had a stroke!

There on the hallway wall was a shadow of man.

I stumbled back, too scared to do anything.

was someone in my apartment? how come I didn’t hear anything? I took a peek outside my room, ready for anything. I turned on the bathroom light, bathroom is across from my room.

Nobody was there.

i turned off the light. the shadow was still there. I moved along the hallway thinking someone is casting that shadow. i am opening closets, looking in the kitchen, living room. to be safe. I turned off the bathroom light again to see where the shadow could be cast. maybe it was a bathrobe, pants hanging from somewhere. no! i could see the definition of calves. well then its me. It had to be!

the shadow didnt move. I’m waving my hands, shaking my feet. Nothing!

I was going to back to sleep when I turned off the light. The door to the bedroom was still open. I glanced over my shoulder the shadow moved its position.

I started to scream!

the feet were off the ground.  two feet off the ground!

i am freaking out so bad right now! i do not want to go down that hallway into my room and change for work! i do not want turn off the lights!

EXPERIMENTING. COURTESY OF LIE TO ME

On Mondays episode of LIE TO ME  change blindness was mentioned. Wikipedia describes change blindness as:

In visual perception, change blindness is the phenomenon that occurs when a person viewing a visual scene apparently fails to detect large changes in the scene. For change blindness to occur, the change in the scene typically has to coincide with some visual disruption such as a saccade (eye movement) or a brief obscuration of the observed scene or image.

Hmm interesting so i decided to do a change blindness test on myself.

this one i failed. sad!

here is a better one.

then here is the lamest one of all. trust me. if you get it wrong it is ok. the kids who did it were asscans.

during the second experiment  i already had a clue as to what i was looking for. something that was not supposed to be there.  guess i cheated. most of the tests were then easy. but if i was to take another one in a day or two i think i will fail. perhaps i do have change blindness.

MY REACTION TO THE NEW RANGERS!

MMPR are back. 18 seasons! woot! woot!

Power Rangers Samurai Strike. I do not know if i want to jump in excitement or kick Saban in the beans for once again ruining MMPR!!!

Disney bought MMPR, it was great! GREAT! awesome effects, awesome morphing. didnt take 3 hours just to  transform the megazord. and in one season Tommy came back. ahh Tommy oliver! Dino Thunder possibly one of the best seasons of MMPR!!! and in Operation Overdrive featured Jonny young bosch. how can it get any better than that. when former rangers guest star?

did you do that Saban? once when Carlos was having problems dealing with being a black ranger. once! and adam showed up to help deal. one time! oh shoot there was that time when Jason came back to be the Gold ranger aka Pyramidas Zord. hmm i remember  Trey of Triforia.

my ridiculous memory serves Saban well this time. crap!

that was the last episode i saw before Fox decided to cancel Saban and his power rangers because of low ratings. ha ha see not everyone loves you Saban!

then last episode of  RPM aired and disney retooled the original MMPR thats when SABAN decided he would be a mamby pamby sissy boy and pout that he didnt like Disney anymore.

Then lo and behold SABAN bought his franchise back. give me a break! According to the Ranger Board. yes there is such a thing.  Saban saved the MMPR.

Really then why did he sell it to Disney? MMPR had more ratings with Disney than with saban. eat that asscan!

now with the samurai strike, the cast looks good. the costumes omg i cringe when i look at them! their weapons? why recycle every seasons weapon!

end of my geek rant!

in the words of the new jersey wives ” Saban, your cabbage muff!”

HUMOR. IT GETS ME THRU THE DAY!

“the shine in your hair is hitting me in the eye!”

“the shine in YOUR hair is hitting me in the eye!

“stop it!

“YOU stop it!”

that has to be funniest hair commercial ever!

The fog that came in this morning was eerie! it was still dark out, and the fog was so thick there was no way anyone could see 2 ft in front of them.

Amanda and I are in Second, and Zack is a little grumpy. I am singing “im bringing sexy back.”  A little bit of JT.

zack walks in and asks why is Second so hot. I had the heater on.

“i am a coldhearted snake. look into my eyes” i totally brutalised that song. I look at him and I said “because i am bringing sexy back.”

The  look on his face? priceless! “please tell me you werent singing justin timberlake!”

“Take it to the bridge…” I continue. I am trying not to laugh at the look of disgust on Zacks face. “the reason its so hot in here. its because i am hot. ok.”

he rolls his eyes. “no, you’re  supposed to say I’m awesome.” he said, referring to himself.

I gave him a look, and gagged. He wasn’t impressed. then I unexpectedly tooted near him.

”oh amanda,” I said to amanda, laughing. “I let one go on zack!”

Amanda laughed so hard, “zack, rebecca fluffed on you.” Laughing  i spilled coffee everywhere. “oops made a mess.” i sniffled between laughing.

Zack just got a little grumpier.

Later zack tells me he is my daddy.

“what? you went back in time, impregnanted my mother. then came back to the present?” i asked.

“yep!” he said. I thought about it. Then i grinned an evil thought coming to mind. “Then that makes you melissa’s daddy too!”

Oh the horror! “No! i am not melissa’s daddy!” he cried. “it was one shot!”

“no you went back in time, impregnanted my mom. and now you are my daddy and melissa’s”

 

4YR OLD HAS BREAST CANCER

http://www.ctv.ca/CTVNews/Health/20101019/girl-breast-cancer-101019

A child having breast cancer? the youngest in canada. its so sad. a child shouldnt suffer any illness at all.

JUSTICE AND A BLINDEYE!

Image via Wikipedia

i was on CNN again. I cannot believe that nine years after Chandra Levy‘s murder a trial has been set. That was nine years ago. Technically ten. I remember it because I was in California when Gary Condit was a chief suspect for her disappearance.

That is ridiculous that it took them this long.

alot of cold cases go unsolved because DNA tests are never processed they lie in a box somewhere, in some cases the DNA actually gets contaminated because of how long they sat. New York is the only state that processes their DNA as soon as its taken.

2009,chicago illinois had 1 167 cases that took more than a month to test due to back log. half of them rape cases. it can take up to a year at the state police crime lab . A year! to process! thats at the third largest forensic lab in the country!

The san diego crime lab isnt doing so well either. when they were investigating the Amber dubois and chelsea king dispearances, and there was a sample of DNA taken a previous jogger attack that had not been tested. They wondered what other DNA sample hadnt they tested. 445 dna requests that hadnt been fulfilled.2 from 2006 (burlgary) 12 from 2007 35 homicides  194 burlgaries for more than half a year.

Can you imagine if your rape victim and your rapist’s DNA is sitting there somewhere because the lab didnt get to it! omg!

WHEN NEW JERSEY INVADES!

http://watch.thecomedynetwork.ca/south-park/season-14/south-park-1409-its-a-jersey-thing/#clip359804

you wanna see f*cking crazy! you better step the f*ck away! you wanna see f*cking crazy!” -sheila.

“your nothing but cabbage” theresa

south park’s best episode ever!!!

I CANT DECIDE WHO IS CUTER? THE DOG OR THE MAN!

i think that this picture could possibly describe most of the qualities i find in a man. isnt that adorable?

LOVELY BONES WAS FANTASTIC!

I just finished watching LOVELY BONES. i loved it. It was so poignant. I had to close my eyes when Susie went into the “clubhouse”  everytime i see someone being lured like that i get shivers up my spine. even if it was fiction it gets to me.

Everyone has instincts; even a fourteen year old child, shouldnt one listen to them. that creepy sensation telling one something is wrong?

There is a sequel to Paranormal Activity. I laughed until I saw the trailer. Oh man. The sequel definitely appears to be scarier than the first. I still cannot believe people thought the first one was real. It wasnt scary! it wasnt even believable! however i will reserve my opinion of Paranormal Activity 2 until i see it. I usually cant stand series. some are alright, some should be trashed. if it is scary then i will be creating brown spots in my pants. lol