“You’ll learn, as you get older, that rules are made to be broken. Be bold enough to live life on your terms, and never, ever apologize for it. Go against the grain, refuse to conform, take the road less traveled instead of the well-beaten path. Laugh in the face of adversity, and leap before you look. Dance as though EVERYBODY is watching. March to the beat of your own drummer. And stubbornly refuse to fit in.”
— Mandy Hale (The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass


I just finished praying and as I heard my own words I realized what I was praying for was a little selfish.

“I am tired of feeling in pain all the time and the burden it’s too much too carry!”

I was stunned.

Who was I to complain when Jesus carried his own cross and died for us? He carried our sins and burdens. Frankly the pain I was in was minute compared to others who were fighting for their own life!

In that moment I felt so relieved that I brought my fears about my pain before My Heavenly Father. I knew I was never alone but being quiet about my pain made it worse!

Within moments peace settled over me and my body began to relax from pain.

What a blessing!

I’m going to sleep now. 😘


It was one of those days when my coworkers started to comment “I hate to see what you going to post on your Facebook!”

Ha! I don’t have a death wish!

You know your day is going smoothly when basic bitchs ask:

  1. I will have your low-carb double quarter.
  2. Is there dairy in your chicken sauce? Could you check?
  3. How much protein do you put in your smoothie?


My eye started to twitch.However my mood started to sour when I started to take an order but I missed what he had said.

“Just the burger!” He snapped. “Jesus Christ!”

“Oh I’m sorry I didn’t hear you. What burger?”

He mumbled again then shouted “no onions! Jesus Christ!”

“I’m sorry?”

The cashier piped up the customer wanted a cheeseburger.

“Oh a cheeseburger”

“No onions!” He snapped “Jesus Christ!”

I was getting really angry now. Every time I asked him to speak up he would snap at me, rudely offensive.

“Sir I am asking you to repeat yourself because I couldn’t hear you. I have 5 people talking over you.” I explained politely.

“So? Jesus Christ! It’s two cheeseburgers!” He began again.

I had enough. “Sir! There is no need to have attitude when I’m trying to take your order!” I snapped “I explained why I couldn’t hear you!” I explained his rude behaviour wouldn’t be tolerated.

Well the drive thru team was stunned.

The presenter looked out the window “oh no he is Filipino”

“So. He can bring it” I snapped.

He brought it alright claiming I was being a racist. He was yelling at the presenter in Tagalog.

My jaw dropped. Now I was really pissed off.

I marched up to the window “I asked you to speak up because I couldn’t hear you! Not because of your accent!”

“So!” He shouted “you are rude!”

“I don’t care! It’s not rude to ask you to speak up! It’s rude to keep saying so, and getting angry at the order taker!” I snapped.

His mouth dropped.

“Whatever.” I walked away.

So a manager walked up asking him what was wrong. He told her I was being rude and racist.

She sighed and apologized. Then looked at me “should have let me handle it”

“No I dealt with it!” I snapped “I was not being rude by asking him to speak up. And by asking him to stop being rude”

She blinked. “Oh he said..”

Steve walked onto the floor and she told them the complaint he shrugged “Miss. Congenitally strikes again.”

“I wasn’t being rude”

“And let’s not rehash it” he muttered “I don’t care. ”

Trying to stay positive after that? Wow!


Hmm when the day dreaming turns naughty. Imagining his fingers deep inside me making me squirt before he fucks me.

It had been such long time since I’ve cum so intensely.My eyes rolled back, I was screaming as I squirted all over my sheets!

I laid back in bed pouting because I made myself cum not him! And my clit is still demanding attention


Having a bath. Finished a book.

Is it just me or have book titles become cringy?

So now I’m choosing books based on

  • the book covers
  • the book title
  • The synopsis
  • The genre
  • If the book is written in first person present tense

Remembering when books had beautiful covers, interesting intriguing titles, and no one competed to be the author of the best bsdm garbage ever written.

Just my opinion while I languish in my bath water choosing what book to read.


I was dreaming of him. Shades of electric blue and white. The song “what’s left of me” by Nick Lachey had been the last song I heard before I fell into my deep sleep.

M and I had one night of passion before he left. Surprisingly I was pregnant. I was so scared, so angry. not because of M finding out. I was scared of how the baby would turn out. From all of the medication I had been taking, my baby would be deformed.

I gave birth to a healthy baby boy. It was a miracle! No one knew who the father was. I couldnt tell anyone. Especially M.

It was a few years, M and I still carried on. It was so hard to keep this a secret from him.  He had noticed my body changed.  He noticed my behaviour had become more calm patient. I laughed more, I was less aggressive. He would lie in bed with me, stroking my hair studying me.

“What” I teased “Why do you keep staring at me like that.”

He laughed rolling ontop his back, bringing me with him. “I havent seen you like this, not even when you were a kid.” he murmured, as I rested my head on his chest. “there is a glow about you. You are happy. Really happy. I am not a fool, Becky. I know  I am not the reason you are. Not that I am complaining.”

I tensed. My heart skipped a beat. His fingers stroked along my back. “You dont have to tell me why.” he murmured. “I just wish you would. No pressure ok. I love you. I love seeing you like this.” he paused. “It gives me a break from all the intense drama you create.”

I began to giggle. I couldnt help it. “Really? Intense drama?” I wheezed. I raised my head to gaze into his eyes. My heart squeezed painfully in my chest, I was overwhelmed by all the emotions I was experiencing. “I love you.” I murmured.

The next day was a beautiful sunny. Popular fluff floating in the air, the crisp scent of freshly cut grass lingered. I arrived at my son’s preschool just before their class ended. I waited just outside the door.

I could hear the teacher dismissing the children, and I opened door to walk in. A small boy with white blond hair ran towards me. “Mommy! Mommy!” he cried. He was a beautiful boy. His blue eyes shining. His chubby arms waving a piece of paper. He was wearing a navy blue shorts and white teeshirt. I caught him up in my arms. Breathing in his scent.

“What do you have there?” I asked. He showed me his picture proudly. A picture drawn in crayon.

“Wow you are quite the artist. Shall I hang it up?” I asked. He nodded.

I turned on my heel and started to walk out of the preschool when M stepped into my path.

My heart stopped in disbelief, my body twisting to protect my son. To hide him.

M wore slate grey trousers, and electric blue shirt. Opened at the collar the cuffs rolled up the forearms. He was so distracting.  He stared at me then my son.

“You followed me?” I asked.

He strode up to me. “I did.” he answered. M smiled at my son. “Hello” did he see any resemblance now that he was so close. He held out his hand to shake my son’s hand.

“Dont touch him” I knocked his hand away. I backed away. “You need to go.”

Confusion and hurt darkened M’s eyes. “Becky, what is this?”

I stepped around him and tried to walk away but M kept in step. “Becky!” he snapped. “Stop!”

I froze at the tone of his voice and turned slowly to face him. I kissed my son and lowered him to the ground. “Why dont you find a snack in my purse!” I suggested placing my purse in front of him.

“Ok mommy.” my son settled on the ground and began to rummage through the bag. I tried not to cry.

M took my hand slowly turning me around to face him. “Is he your secret?” he whispered. “You have a son. You couldnt tell me.”

I nodded.

M inhaled slowly. His forehead rested on mine. “You realize I would have found out the truth sooner or later.” he breathed. My lungs and throat hurt from trying not to cry. “The resemblance is remarkable. He looks so much like my eldest did at that age.”

A sob escaped my lips. “I am sorry. I didn’t think…” I tried to speak.

“ssh.” M kissed the top of my head. “I know you didn’t plan to get pregnant. I know you never wanted children. Our son is a miracle.” he chuckled. “um so what is his name? I swear if you named him..”

I snorted. “hell no!” I squirmed free to scoop up my son. “His name is Michael.”

M smiled and reached for Michael.

  • that is when I woke up! I hate being lonely. I hate being single when I have dreams like this because my heart longs for love. When I dream of babies I wonder would be an excellent mother.
  • Oh the humanity!


Ugh what a week I have been having. I have been home sick the last two days. I worked today thinking I was better. Ha!

I was getting weaker by the hour when this woman started to order a bacon bagel extra sauce.

“Oh I’m sorry we no longer sell breakfast sauce” I replied politely.

I was explaining four times there was no sauce on the bagel. She started to get angry “the sauce on the bagel I want EXTRA!”

“There is no sauce. We stopped selling it”

“Oh well then I will have a burrito meal”

“Ok and what will you have to drink” I asked

“You know you’re rude!” She exclaimed.

That was the last straw! I had been polite. I hate repeating myself, which I had done numerous times because she refused to believe me. “I was not being rude. I explained to you numerous times that we haven’t had breakfast sauce. We haven’t had it in two months” I replied.

She made this sound. Don’t fucking step up to me like a basic bitch and pull this shit with me! I was not having it. I made the same sound.

“What is your name!” She screeched. “I demand to know your name!”

“You don’t need to know my name!”

“Cancel my order I’m coming in!” She cried.

“Ok. Have a nice day!”

I explained to the managers what happened and they both had pained expressions on their faces.

“Hey, don’t look at me!” I grumbled “people are fucking stupid!”

The woman stormed in screeching how rude I was. How I refused to give her extra sauce. How my behaviour was unacceptable.

“She explained to you we didn’t have sauce right?” One replied. “We haven’t had sauce in months, I’m sorry but it was head office not our decision.”

Ems told me I should have told the customer my name was Rumpelstiltskin!

Jacey said “all magic comes with a price when dealing with Rumpelstiltskin”

I laughed.

Thankfully I went home early.

I’m still feeling horrible!

Temper temper

Ugh. Waiting for My turmeric and ginger tea to steep. My least favourite kind. Dealing with melodramatic people is exhausting! I am physically drained!

The last few hours of my shift were spent dealing with women throwing temper tantrums like they were 3 years old!

My coworkers were arguing with me about procedures. I was informing them the proper way of punching in a mocha but they refused. They couldn’t understand that despite it being made with a coffee it was still a mocha! Not a hot chocolate!

“But they don’t want espresso!”

I had enough. “You will punch in a mocha! That’s it! That’s end of it! End of discussion! I don’t want to hear it anymore!” I shouted.

I think I may have frightened one of the part-timers😓

I let my temper get the best of me. I just hate it when people keep questioning me.

A customer had asked for a happy meal. Cheeseburger no meat plain. (Aka grilled cheese). I punched in the order.

“There is a $1.12 button for that” She chirps.

“Excuse me. A button for what?”

“$1.12 button for that cheeseburger”

I sighed. Turned off the mic. “Who the fuck has been telling customers we have $1.12 button for a cheeseburger happy meal!” I snapped.

The drive thru became silent “no one”

“Exactly! Because there is none!”

I turned on my mic and informed her once more there was no button. “Yes there is” she insisted.

“No there isn’t!” I was firm. But she wasn’t giving up.

“I should know!” She retorted.

Don’t ever tell an employee that! Unless you’ve worked in their place of employment you know jack!

I bristled. I had enough of this. I was ready to cancel her order!

“Ma’am Would you like something else?”

The customer made a sound of disbelief! Like I couldn’t believe I just dismissed her like that! “Yes”

I almost laughed. After the order was finished I informed the manager there might be a complaint. Sure enough she tried to tell him about the button. Denied!😂😂😂

Petty much?

Is feeling: petty, vindictive and vengeful

Sausage egg. Hash brown. Drink. Asked if it was a meal? I get a bitchy attitude because obviously yes it was! No it was not a meal you asked for.

That was the last straw!

People have been eating here since the day they’ve been born but they still can’t order right.

You want a meal. Say it. Until you do. You get a la carte!


It was a rainy morning. I spent my morning doing chores. Ugh doing adult things!😔

I went to the Crystal Shop this afternoon after the rain had stopped.

My finds!